10 THINGS THAT MADE MARCH MAGICAL

 
10).  CHOCOLATE COVERED STRAWBERRIES
For a friend’s birthday, I decided to give the gift of decadence. 
Wait…scratch that.   I MADE the gift of decadence.  I made a huge
platter of chocolate covered strawberries.  Inspired by my hubby’s
impressive Valentine’s Day chocovered strawberries, I wanted to try
making them myself.  AND HOW EASY IT WAS!  Here’s how: 
- Melt semi-sweet chips in microwave for 1 min.  Stir, and chips will continue melting.
- Dip strawberries into chocolate and lay out on wax paper.
- Refrigerate

This required less work than baking cookies, although I made a huge kitchen mess with countless bowls, chocolate smears, and over-nuked burnt chips.  Next time will go much smoother.  I also wasn’t too thrilled with the turnout of individual pieces, as I experimented with drizzling and designs.  But all laid out together and presented to the guests…GORGEOUS to see, GORGEOUS to eat, TRIUMPHANT to make. 

9).  LADY GAGA
Lady Gaga gagot us thru the dead of winter with her
inescapably groovy “Just Dance” and now with “Pokerface,” which is
shaping up to be equally satisfying aural sex.  Most people liken her
to Christina Aguilera, but I like to think of her
as the reincarnation of Samantha Fox, the late 80′s platinum-haired
brit chick who gave us “I Wanna Have Some Fun” and “Naughty Girls Need
Love Too.”  But that’s a whole other reminisc-entry.  Lady Gaga is two
music videos in and by now we’re used to her wacky-cutesy dance
moves/wigs/leotards/glitter/fishnets/struts.  But she’s fresh, I like
her, and she’s just the right end-of-the-decade musical force to take us
into 2010 and beyond. 

8).  DR. MANHATTAN IN “WATCHMEN”
I wanted to love “Watchmen,” I really did.  But after 2 hrs and 40 mins, the only impression I left the theatre with was that of Dr. Manhattan’s, um, big blue schlong.  Yes, he bares it all….not in one scene, not in two scenes, or even three.  In just about every scene he’s in!  The movie was rather a letdown to me.  This rowdy band of superheroes was overhyped and underwhelming, and left me not wanting more.  Dr. Manhattan, however, is worthy of a movie all to himself.  And not just because his penis had a starring role.

7).  SAWYER ON “LOST”
Season
after season, the dramatic and emotional core of “LOST” has been either
Jack, Kate, Locke or Ben.  But in this mid-season, that onus has
shifted over to Sawyer.  No longer the brooding wise-cracking renegade
castaway you sometimes wanna bitchslap, Sawyer has been anchoring more
than his share of the island saga, ever since he chose to jump out of the helicopter and missing his chance of being the Oceanic Seventh.  His recent monologue to Horace explaining if 3 years is
long enough to get over someone you loved, was achingly heart-tugging,
brilliantly followed by his face-to-face island reunion with Kate only
moments later.  He’s now leader of the pack and yet another exciting shift of events on TV’s best show.  Josh Holloway has been turning in consistently
Emmy-worthy scenes in season 5, and I hope he finally gets his breakout
Supporting Actor nom. 

6).  FABULOUS XANGA FRIEND ENCOUNTER
In this day and age, a internet-encounter that doesn’t result in Chris Hanson walking into the kitchen and saying “Sir, you’re on Dateline NBC…” is a good thing.  That’s why it was a really great thing when I finally got a chance to meet up in person with long-time xanga friend from Cali, Darlene (aka Daydreamer33) this month when she visited NYC for her 30th birthday.  I met up with Darlene and her husband for a quickie meet-and-greet over hot chocolate decadence at Max Brenner Chocolate Shop.  A xanga friendship forged over mutual food/home decor/food/American Idol/food obsessions, translated fabulously in real life.  We garrulous gals gabbed and giggled effortlessly as if we’d been friends forever separated merely by a little time and distance. 

5).  “FLIGHTLESS BIRD AMERICAN MOUTH” FROM “TWILIGHT”
I finally
watched “Twilight” and succumbed to the fuss.  The movie was less of
the overhyped teenage catnip I was prepared for, and more of the
heart-achingly forbidden love story set to the backdrop of good old
fashioned vampirism.  This song “Flightless Bird American Mouth”
by Iron & Wine (some old dude with a big beard), which plays over a
gentle scene in the end, is bewitching and sublime.  I first heard it
several months ago when the band played it on Jay Leno, and I
downloaded it.  Now having seen the movie and its placement in the
film, it’s perfectly befitting.  As for the meaning of the song
title, who the hell knows.

4).  LOBSTER ROLL AT PEARL OYSTER BAR

Now, I haven’t had every relevant lobster roll in the city, but I finally had a chance to have Pearl Oyster Bar’s wondrous version thanks to my lobstergal Linda on the most recent installment of our legendary ladies-that-lunch Fridays.  It beats the ones offered at BLT Fish’s (too small and inconsistent), Fred’s @ Barney’s (too little mayo; bad bread choice in thick multi-grain slices), and Lure Fishbar (so long ago I don’t even remember).  I’ve yet to have the fabled rolls at Mary’s Fishcamp or Mermaid Inn, but for now, Pearl Oyster Bar’s is my frontrunner.  Paired with delectable shoestring fries, the dish was perfection.

3).  KLONDIKE BARS
What would you do for a Klondike bar? 
Well, I’d do anything.  ANYTHING.  My childhood favorite is back in
my freezer after a long unexplained absence.  Why have I not Klondike’d
for so long?!  It’s the simplest thing: vanilla ice cream coated in
chocolate.  But the chocolate has a little something extra, like a hint of caramel/honey that is purely delicious.  I’ve been living off these this month.  My favorite scenario:  late at night curled up on the couch in my pj’s with a blanky over my lap watching “Damages” and chowing down on a luscious Klondike.  It’s heaven I tell ya.  

2).  “PLANET EARTH”
I have been ADDICTED to Discovery Channel’s 11-part “Planet Earth” series from 2007.  Deep down I believe we’re all suckers for National
Geographics type shows, and “Planet Earth” unveils our world more
stunningly than ever before.  The thematic episodes explore “Deep
Ocean,” “Forests,” “Deserts” etc, showing us breathtaking topography
and flora/fauna that we’ll never get to see in our lifetime.  Three
episodes air every Sunday night.  My favorite so far has been
“Mountains.”  I have no further words to describe.  Justwatchit.

1).  MY NEPHEW TYLER
 
Cuter than a chocolate covered strawberry.  More scrumptious than a lobster roll.  Melts your heart faster than a Klondike bar in my mouth.  My brother’s little boy is my bundle of joy as well.  This past month Tyler turned 6 months, and it’s half a year that went by lighting fast in the grand scheme of it all.  I relish my weekly visits to Queens to spend time and play with the fun happy little guy.  Tyler’s unexpected two-weeks-early birth was truly a gift for me personally, because it occurred exactly one day after one of the most dreadful events of my life.  That made no sense to most of you reading this, and it’s not worth delving into.  But my point here is, Tyler is my little miracle.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

B O N U S :

THINGS THAT MADE MY MARCH CRAPPY:
3).  March Madness.  So sick of hearing about this.  AS IF I CARE ABOUT BASEBALL?  FOOTBALL?  BASKETBALL?
2).  Scott MacIntyre on “Idol.”  The worst still around.  AS IF I CARE THAT HE’S BLIND?
1).  Natasha Richardson tragedy.  Need I say more?

Motown nite.  Meh.

MATT GIRAUD
Aight.

KRIS ALLEN
Sweet.

BLIND GUY
Ghastly.

MEGAN
Horrid.

ANOOP
yAWnFUL.

MICHAEL SARVER
Cheesy.

LIL
Not hot.

ADAM
Hot.

DANNY
Taylor Hicks.

ALLISON
Good.

SMOKEY ROBINSON’S GREEN EYES
Creepy.

PAULA’S SIMON-DRAWN MUSTACHE
Priceless.

PAULA’S REAL MUSTACHE
Yes.

OUT?  Megan.

It was the dreaded country music nite, aka, the episode I have zero tolerance for unless I know and like the song.  The viewers dread it more than the contestants, and Simon dreads it more than anyone.  But the nite was salvaged by a few country love ballads from a coupla dudes. 

MICHAEL SARVER
Hated it.  Hate him.  I hate his singing.  I hate looking at him.  I hate his birthing hips.  I hate his weird alien-y insect-y brow/forehead precipice.  Just leave.

ALLISON IRAHETA
Meh.  She was sounding all kinds of Miley Cyrus to me, and me no likes no Smiley Virus.  I just need Allison around long enough to actually sing Kelly Clarkson. 

KRIS ALLEN
When the episode began, I decided not to do a review.  I gave up all hope for an episode worthy of commentary.  But then Kris sang.  And he made me feel his love.  And I hope he feels my love.  Because I love this guy more and more each week.  He’s the smart guy who takes a throwaway throwuppy theme like country nite, and turns in a safe but soothing performance.  Well done.  

LIL ROUNDS
I cackled when Simon called her Little.  Lit-ul.  kakakaka.  Little seems to have a wardrobe issue.  Her 1980′s prom outfits are tragique, and she needs a long wig.  She’s also a lil too precious to me for a black chick.  I’d like her to get a lil mean and attitude’y.  Danny Gokey has more convincing black chick ‘tude than she does.

ADAM LAMBERT
Adam’s middle-finger-to-country-music performance was ballsy and irreverent.  I thought Randy Travis’ skeletal face was gonna turn stone-cold corpsey.  However Adam chooses to interpret a genre, you definitely can’t call him boring.  Thank god for him this year.

SCOTT MACINTYRE
I applaud Paula for calling out the blind-man-and-his-piano, the pink blind elephant in the room.  And I applaud Simon for attacking Paula for being impolite.  It kills Paula whenever Simon calls her out.  I was never a fan of this guy and I don’t think I’ll ever be.  

ALEXIS GRACE
She DOES look a lot like Dolly!  Her “Joleen” was much better than Brooke White’s last year.  I’m starting to like her.  

DANNY GOKEY
When they said he was singing Carrie Underwood, I got all atingle imagining “Before SHE Cheats.”  But nooooo.  “Jesus Take the Wheel”…ugh.  I can’t relate.  I’m not into religion, and I don’t drive.  Danny’s appeal is dissipating for me.  Jesus took it. 

ANOOP
“Always on My Mind”.  Love the Elvis version.  Love the Pet Shop Boys version.  Even love the Fantasia version.  Loved Anoop’s version.  I’m thrilled he bounced back because he deserves to stay longer.

MEGAN CORKREY
Her face is undeniably gorgeous.  Her shoulder dancing is annoying as fuck.  And does this woman own sleeves?  I agree her voice tone is intriguing and unique, but I would just love for her to do a serious love ballad, rather than her quirky, folksy, vaudeville-y performances.  You’re singing for a music career, not a children’s birthday party.    

MATT GIRAUD
His piano “So Small” was not bad, but his vocals are still not on par with some others.  Does he deserve all the praise he got from all 4 judges?  No.  Just some.  Take his piano away and see how great, or small, he is.

BEST PERFORMANCE OF THE NIGHT:  Kris Allen

WORST PERFORMANCE OF THE NIGHT:  Paula.  Her repeated failed attempts at 3 and 4 syllable words were, as Simon might say, “like watching a pink blind elephant trying to squeeze into Lil Rounds 80′s prom dress….clumsy, laughable, and ultimately, sad.”

WHO’S GOING HOME:  Michael Sarver

I created a new signature dish that I’ve made twice in the past week for separate occasions, and everyone just loves it.  It’s fresh, light, satisfying, and so easy to make.  I’m calling it my SHRIMP SCAMPI PASTA RABE.

Here’s how it came about.  For the past few months at my 2 local supermarkets (A&P and Stop&Shop), they didn’t have broccoli rabe when I wanted it.  So I stopped wanting it.  Last week I happened to see it, and it screamed “buy me!”  So I did, not having any particular use for it.  A few days later while thinking what to make for dinner, I knew I had the rabe, and the only protein on hand was frozen shrimp.  So I made the broccoli rabe like I always do:

SAUTEED BROCCOLI RABE
- Dice shallot and garlic, saute in olive oil.  
- Cut up broccoli rabe to reasonable pieces, add to pan. 
- Cover and let it wilt down a few mins, adding salt & pepper.
- Add enough chicken broth to cover the rabe, and let it slowly simmer for 10-15 mins.  (the broth simmer cuts down the bitterness)

Meanwhile, cook any kind of pasta.  As for the shrimp, the most delicious flavorful thing I can do to it is scampi.

SIMPLE SHRIMP SCAMPI
- Heat olive oil and knob of butter.  Add minced garlic.
- Add shrimp and toss around.
- Squeeze lots of lemon juice and splash of white wine, and simmer 5 mins.
- Sprinkle parsley and DONE.

COMBINE the broccoli rabe and shrimp scampi with the cooked pasta and toss.  The brothy sauce from the rabe and the lemony-winey scampi sauce will form enough heavenly liquid to coat all the pasta.  Drizzle some more olive oil, sprinkle more salt if needed, and DONE.  Enjoy with a glass of white. 

Michael Jackson week!  I didn’t see this coming, and I was pleased.  And impressed, frankly, that they got the rights to do Jacko.  The only thing better would’ve been Madonna week (fingers crossed that this ever happens).  MJ nite was one of the strongest Idol episodes ever, with a good handful coming out and really declaring war on the field.

LIL ROUNDS
Sang “The Way You Make Me Feel.”  One of my least fave MJ song, and like Simon said: “a lazy song choice.”  Lil is capable of so much more, we know that.  But she sang first, and no one ever blew us away singing first….esp with 12 others to follow.

SCOTT MACINTYRE
Sang “Keep the Faith.”  Never heard the song before; Never wanna hear it again.  It was all so Sunday church in the midwest, with children of the corn waiting outside with pitchforks for anyone who didn’t sing along.  Scott is 0 for 2 in song choices for me.  He should’ve done the piano-y “You Are Not Alone” or “Heal the World,” a song only he (and David Archuleta) could get away with singing. 

DANNY GOKEY
Sang “PYT.”  WTF?  PFFT.  Hated the song, loved him still.  He sings with more unbridled confidence and unabashed bravado than anyone.  For a shouty, dancey, upbeat song, he should’ve gone with “Bad.”  We know he is.  Sha-mon. 

MICHAEL SARVER
Sang “You Are Not Alone.”  Love the song, but not his performance.  He over-sang it, rendering it unrecognizable, and not in the good David Cook “Billie Jean” way.  Rather, in the Arianna Afsar “The Winner Takes It All” way.  I am not into this guy AT ALL.  Unless country week comes soon, he won’t last.

JASMINE MURRAY
Sang “I’ll Be There.”  Great choice.  She even stayed away from the Mariah version, choosing to stay true to the original.  I expect to hate her everytime she sings, but girl can belt it.  But this season, I don’t think just belting a song is enough anymore.  (If so, they wouldn’t let Tatiana thru).

KRIS ALLEN
Sang “Remember The Time.”  When they announced MJ week, the first song I thought of was this one, and I was like “no way is someone gonna sing it.”  So glad Kris did — and with the guitar, and not with an Egyptian outfit.  I remember the time when I didn’t know who he was, much less that he played guitar.  When he started strumming, I wanted him to break into “La Isla Bonita.”  He’s now 2 for 2 with Michael Jackson.  Kris’ voice and looks are the same: crisp and endearing. 

ALLISON IRAHETA
Sang “Give In To Me.”  She rivals Danny Gokey and Adam Lambert in vocal self-assurance and stage ownership.  I haven’t heard this song in 15 years and I just realized I LOVE THIS SONG.  I went ahead and youtubed it.  Damn, Michael Jackson was pretty fierce in his day:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqDOsKKhb88.  Allison is on fire.

ANOOP DESAI
Sang “Beat It.”  Anoop-slumdawg got kicked down by Simollionaire and the gang, but I didn’t think it was bad.  I’m actually beginning to enjoy him, but he stands no chance.  There are about 8 or 9 people better than him.  Should’ve done “Man In the Mirror.”

JORGE NUNEZ
Sang “Never Say Goodbye.”  Wrong song, bad song, awful song.  He completely lacked the vocal intensity he showed last round.  The sun will go down on him now.  Or en espanol:  El sol bajara en el.

MEGAN CORKREY
Sang “Rockin Robin.”  I’m so tired of her singing these crazy twitchy Red Bullish songs.  I really just want her shoulders to remain still.  And her tattooed arm covered.  Ugh.  Like we didn’t get enough of that last season with Carly Smithson.  Her intriguing freakiness and tone are keeping her in the game, but can this girl just sing a nice love song?  How about “Billie Jean”?  Anyway she sings it would sound different.

ADAM LAMBERT
Sang “Black or White.”  WHO CAN POSSIBLY SING THIS?!  Anyone else would’ve been laughed off the stage as a pitiful parody.  But Adam rocked the shit out of it.  I love this guy.  I truly truly do.  I expected him to do “In the Closet”  (remeber the video with Naomi Campbell!).  Incidentally, Paula essentially picked the same final two as I predicted weeks ago:  Adam and Danny.  Maybe she’s not so drunk after all.

MATT GIRAUD
Sang “Human Nature.”  I think I completely tuned him out, following Adam’s showstopper.  He should’ve sung “Smooth Criminal.”  Matt doesn’t have the capability to be good every single week.  I feel he thrives or dies depending on the genre and song choice.  I can’t seem to scrub his horrid Coldplay song from my mind.

ALEXIS GRACE
Sang “Dirty Diana.”  Quite a gritty song for a squeaky clean child.  I kinda liked it.  I’m starting to like her.  Her Cyndi Lauper meets Christina Aguilera persona is potentially exciting.  She and Lil Rounds are battling for second place among the girls, behind Allison.  And I just realized how few girls there are:  5 vs 7 guys.  Interesting.

WHO’S GOING HOME?  
Say goodbye, Jorge. 
Beat it, Anoop.

It’s week 3 of the voting rounds, and the final 12 get their chance to
make us love them.  Wait, let me re-do this intro.  Two flaming gays, a blind guy, and someone named Lil Rounds walk into a bar….I mean, Idol.  Ok, this week was comprised of two kinds of contestants: the ones we’ve seen too much of, and the ones we’ve never seen before.  Who among them is Top 12 material?  Who cares.  None of these are winner material.

VON SMITH
We all know gay guys like this — a talented but showy queen so full of himself that you sometimes wanna bitchslap.  So it was nice to see him refrain from being all the annoying that he can be, for a change.  But you could see how hard he was trying not to let his inner black woman come out.  You know it’s killing him.  He wants this opportunity so bad.  You feel like he would literally die if he doesn’t make the top 12.  Well, he won’t make it.

TAYLOR VAIFANUA
The 16/17-yr old quota has already been filled by Allison Iraheta.  “If I Ain’t Got You” has been done so many times, and I yawn everytime.  Hers was no different.  My yawn was more melodic.  She may as well have sung a guy-group song.

ALEX WAGNER-TRUGMAN
We all know dorky guys like this — a skittish super-nerd with a talent unbefitting his skittish super-nerdiness, and makes you cringe whenever he speaks, dances, or walks across a room.  In singing his dowdy Elton John song, the black woman within Von Smith apparently came out thru Alex Wagner-Trugman.  All that growling and guttural showiness, he may as well have done “And I am Telling You…”  Laughable and embarrassing.  His life is over.

ARIANNA AFSAR
I admire the ABBA song choice, and I was excited.  I wanted to like this so much because it’s my favorite ABBA song, but it was a tortured mess.  I would love to see someone more capable do this song.

JUNOT JOYNER
I would’ve liked his delicate “Delilah,” if every other person hadn’t sung this during Hollywood.  He should’ve sung Jodeci’s “Lately.” 

KRISTEN MCNAMARA
I liked her.  Hated her song “Gimme One Reason” (Jordin Sparks also sang this at the same point in the competition) though.  But Kristen made the song better than it was.  Her stage presence and voice are confident and unwavering, which is a lot more than most other people’s.  I feel like Kristen can sing anything, so she should totally attempt the Mariah, Leona, Celine songs. 

NATHANIEL MARSHALL
We all know gay guys like this — a tortured but showy queen that lives and dies by self-created drama…. that you sometimes wanna slap.   The Meatloaf song he chose is manic, and he actually did an ok job mimicking the mania.  But the bottom line is, America will be scared of him.

FELICIA BARTON
Her Nelly Furtado look was thrilling to look at, and her vocals were thrilling to hear.  She chose an awesome Alicia song “No One,” I would love to see her advance.  She’s my dark horse of this group.  She won’t make it now, but I hope they consider her for the wild card round.

SCOTT MACINTYRE
I winced throughout the judging of the blind guy:
RANDY:  “Everytime I SEE you sing and hear you sing…”
KARA:  “I want America to SEE you play and sing, because that’s when they’re really gonna SEE Scott.” 
SIMON:  “You’re starting to believe in yourself.  I didn’t SEE that when you first came in.  But in a SEA of forgettable people tonight, you’re really the one I’m gonna remember.”
Although nothing was more cringe-worthy than Ryan high-five’ing him.

KENDALL BEARD
Who?  Next.

JORGE NUNEZ
I was prepared to not like him even before he sang.  But then he sang.  He belted.  And it was good.  The sun shouldn’t go down on him. 

LIL ROUNDS 
The top 12 can’t be without a strong black woman.  No it won’t be Von Smith; it’ll be Lil Rounds.  She’s a female version of Fantasia, and could get pretty far in the competition. 

SO WHO’S IS MAKING IT TO TOP 12?  
1). Lil Rounds for sure. 
2). Jorge Nunez who had the best vocal of the guys.
3). Scott MacIntyre will get the sympathy vote from corny-ass America.  (although I’d rather SEE Felicia Barton or Kristen McNamara go thru instead).

10 THINGS THAT GOT ME THRU FEBRUARY
I’ll be the first to admit that February was not the easiest month to endure.  Unrelenting winter blues, sub-arctic temps, post-Presidential excitement lull, continued economic hell-in-a-handbasket, Rihanna & Chris Brown, Bernie Madoff, Octo-mom, ChristiaNaomi CampBale, and hardly any new “Gossip Girls.”  Craziness all around!  Well, I still managed to pull together a list of goodies that guided me thru the month — some you share, some you don’t, and some that are too hot to handle.  I’ve discovered it’s a therapeutic approach to life, doing it one month –and 10 good things– at a time.  Onwith!

10).  STREET FIGHTER IV FOR PS3
My childhood arcade favorite never seems to go away.  My brother, cousin and I spent millions of hours and quarters on SF2 in our teen years, and now it’s back with a ramped up new edition for 2009.  Playing at my brother’s house on PS3, we’ve been relishing the classic Capcom game all over again, with new characters, new mysteries to unlock, and robust new graphics.  The result: boyish victory glee, adult agony of defeat, and thumbs rubbed raw.  And to keep things gay, I’m still hopelessly devoted to using Chun-Li.  That upside-down helicopter kick is still ferocious!
 

9).  LOST
Whenever I gush about “Lost” to someone who never
watches it, I always immediately regret doing so.  Not because they
respond with that annoying “What’s it about?” bullshit, but because I feel sorry for them that
they never discovered one of television’s most brilliant, mysterious,
nuanced, thrilling shows.  “Lost” is a full-time emotional and cerebral
investment.  I’ve watched every episode and tried to follow everything
as clearly as I can….yet I still can’t have a coherent conversation
about it with anyone.  This season, it’s fifth and penultimate (next
season it ends), the plot truly does thicken as the Oceanic Six
actually return to the island to save those they left behind.  The
events are unfolding quicker than ever, past mysteries are starting to
make sense(ish) now, and the journey continues to be just as thrilling
as whatever the destination may be.  

8).  ST. IVES SWISS VANILLA LOTION
I go thru body lotion like Paula Deen goes thru butter.  I don’t necessarily choose a lotion by brand, price, or effectiveness.  I choose by scent.  And my absolute favorite is VANILLA.  Those fuckers at Suave discontinued by vanilla flavor twice, and now St. Ives is all I have.  I smooth it on, head to toe, after each evening’s shower, and several times a day on my hands and face.  The cool creamy consistency is like smearing vanilla pudding or custard cream on your skin.  The best thing about it is, when the vanilla reacts with your body chemistry, you smell like fresh baked cookies right from the oven.  Now you know the secret to my irresistibility.

7).  THE BOYS OF IDOL
Danny Gokey.  Adam Lambert.  Kris Allen. 
Half of the Top 12 are in place, and as far as I’m concerned, there’s
no need to fill the other half.  Danny shined with “Hero” in an
otherwise atrocious week for 11 others, proving that
guys-singing-Mariah equals Idol gold.  Adam Lambert proved he can sing
anything and can easily go the Chris Daughtry route of not needing to
win to succeed.  And Kris Allen, well, he’s vital eye candy for the
next several months, I hope.  One of these guys (Danny or Adam) will be the
next Idol.  Unless it’s Allison Iraheta.  (um, or someone else). 

6).  “MY LIFE WOULD SUCK WITHOUT YOU”
First things first: our lives would
suck without Kelly Clarkson.  Her last CD netted one meager single
“Never Again” in 2007, which barely made a dent on the charts and in
our hearts (and thereby allowing Carrie Underwood and Chris Daughtry to surpass
her as Idol’s biggest successes).  Now she’s back in a huge way with
another instant love anthem.  “My Life Would Suck Without You” has the
infectious girl-rock hooks of “Since U Been Gone” and the feel-good girlish optimism of
“Breakaway.”  If it’s not currently the most played tune on the radio, it shall be.  I’m sure of that just as I’m sure it will easily be the #1
song for all of 2009. 

5).  BRAVO TV 
*(warning:  Top Chef winner is mentioned below, so skip if you haven’t watched yet)*
Pop quiz:  What is my dream career in life right now?
a).  Top Chef
b).  Millionaire Matchmaker
c).  Real Housewife
d).  ALL OF THE ABOVE!
Clearly
the answer is d)., and clearly I’m halfway there thanks to my devotion
to Bravo’s February triumvirate of tasty/zesty/feisty shows.  With TOP
CHEF, my joy is not in who wins in the finale (clearly.  Hosea?!), but
rather in the delicious journey.  I literally pause, slow-mo, and
rewind as they describe and present the dishes, and I make sure I don’t
miss every detail of each menu, all the dish components, and all foodie
terms like sous-vide, gastrique, and pot de creme.  Patti Stanger
lights the MILLIONAIRE MATCHMAKER on fi-ah with her vicious jabs at
slutty women, asshole men, and sometimes, her own staff.  I live for
incendiary Patti-speak!  She’s a matchmaking nazi with a heart of
gold.  And even the worst of the REAL HOUSEWIVES series, OC, was
watchable, thanks to the Gretchen/Tamra/Vicki hatelationship.  And now
the NY Housewives are hitting it out of the park right from the
get-go.  Like Bethenny said about getting Alex’s cold shoulder:  “I
laughed, I cried, it was better than ‘Cats,’ I’m outta here.”   March
is gonna be REAL kakakiller!!!

4).  SUSHI ROLLS
For years growing up my mom made her own sushi rolls.  For years she’s been buying me sushi wrappers, and I keep giving them back to her.  Then one day I watched Giada DiLaurentiis do an episode wrapping sushi, and I thought, if that culinary princess can do it, then so can this (wanna-be) culinary princess!  And so I did.  I roll mine with scrambled egg, cucumber, crabstick, and avocado.  It’s satisfying to make, and so fresh and refreshing to eat.  I haven’t perfected my technique yet, so I do get the occasional ripped wrapper, ingredients busting out the sides, and butchered cutting job.  But I just eat my mistakes.  If only we could eat all of life’s mistakes. 

3).  BAREFOOT CONTESSA
I’ve ditched every show on the Food
Network except for one.  Rachael Ray, Bobby Flay….go away.  Barefoot
Contessa is all I need to tantalize my taste buds and instill cooking
confidence in me.  Ina Garten consistently wows with her impeccable
taste, effortless technique, and relatable regality.  The opening theme
song makes me giddy every time because I know I’m in for some critical
Back to Basics lessons (making pie crust, making vinaigrette, roasting chicken), French flair by way of the Hamptons, and the urge to recreate
everything she makes.  After every episode, I go to www.foodtv.com to
search and bookmark her recipes.  On my queue are:  Bay scallop gratin, Portabello mushroom lasagne, Oven-fried chicken, Ribollita soup, and Eggplant gratin.

2).  SHOWDOWN AT THE OSCARS
As glitzy and wholesome at this year’s
Oscars were, it was pretty damn boring without a snarky host and
celeb-slamming comedy.  (Would someone please book Tina Fey or Ben
Stiller for next year?).  THANK GOD THEN for the mega-celeb face-off
that has been 4 years in the making:  THE JENN/BRANGELINA SHOWDOWN! 
The set up:  Brad and Angelina, both nominated at the same time and
would no doubt show up; Jenn out to prove she can conquer emotional
stability following her year end box-office conquering with “Marley
& Me.”  They would be sitting front and center in the audience; 
She would come out on stage confident and uncaring.  WRONG!  Firstly,
pairing Jenn up with Jack Black was laughable and tragic.  What, was
Danny Devito not available?  Jenn could’ve saved face by requesting the
arm of Daniel Craig.  But nothing could save her from her dour stage
demeanor, tepid joke delivery, and that awful un-Rachel hair with the dykey braid.  When the
camera gave us Brangelina, looking resplendent and gracious in the
audience, it was a TKO for J.Aniston.  The glare from Angelina’s
emeralds could not hide Jenn’s glare from the stage.  The occasion was
too big for her, and she crumbled silently.  It was heart-wrenching
(and thrilling!!!) to watch.  I love this shit!

(BONUS: The other saving grace of Oscar nite was where and with whom we spent it:  with our friends Bob & Todd at their apt.  They hosted us and cooked a beautiful vietnamese meal of mango salad and ginger chicken, and a blueberry pie a la mode dessert.  Gorgeous to look at and devour.  Thanks again my dears!)

1).  FRIDAY FROLICS WITH MY BFF
February is the month that I finally
reconnected with my BFF, Linda, in a major way:  face to face, slap to slap, plate to
plate, cackle to cackle.  We spent a few months tending to big personal
life/lifestyle/family/career/age changes.  And at last, it was time to hook
up again to compare notes on our lives in our early 30′s.  What we
concluded is: our 20′s were all about play; our 30′s are making us pay.  But we have relevant perspective on our lives now, and we can still have a little fun!  Our Friday gettogethers are instant classics:  lobster-roll lunch at FRED’S AT BARNEYS NEW YORK and marvelous Indian at CHOLA, shopping, Tasti-D-Lite, “Confessions of a Shopaholic,” and just plain gallivanting around Manhattan while everyone else is dying at work on a Friday.  We discuss/review/evaluate everything happening in our lives, with our friends and families, in the news, in television, in Hollywood and the tabloids, and on Facebook (where a lot of shit goes down).  We fill our time with as much cackling and frolic as possible without breaking the law.  Fridays just became all kinds of fierce! 

(Chola on 58th bet. 2nd & 3rd Ave, where Gossip Girl often spots J & L)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
BONUS:
THINGS I HATED IN FEB
3).  “Heroes.”  If they canceled this show now, I wouldn’t be very upset.  I want to still love it, but they’re making it very hard to. 
2).  Bailout/Stimulus.  If I never hear these words again, it’ll be too soon. 
1).  Octo-mom.  Just octo-go-away already.