April 24, 2008

• *AC21*

  When I turned 21 (um, 9 years ago), I was living at my parent's house in Queens -- in college living at home, alone, miserable, friendless, like a virgin.  No party, no cool friends in my life, no significant other, no enviable life whatsoever.  The very day I turned 21, I think I ate a hostess cupcake, watched Golden Girls, and cried into my teddy bears.  Truly sad!

  
  

  Well, I didn't want the same sad fate to befall my favorite cousin JENNIFER as she turned 21 last week.  SO...my brother, Rosa, bubbyMichael and I scooped her and whisked her off for a fun & food filled ATLANTIC CITY/LUCKY 21 weekend!  No crying into teddy bears, but maybe an empty wallet.

  
  

  

  
  

  Our hotel of choice:  TRUMP PLAZA, for its central proximity to the Boardwalk & shopping.  Otherwise, we would've gone the Borgata way.

  
  

  

  
  

  Room with a view.  Most people have to fight, argue, bitch & scream to get a room view like this.  All I had to do was bat my eyelashes and hint at my highly judgmental blog.  Thanks, hotels.com.

  
  

  

  
  

  The beach just beyond the Boardwalk.  The structure to the right is the old AC convention center where Miss America pageants are/were held.

  
  

  

  
  

  First order of business:  hit the Boardwalk for our first photo shoot.  When your family is as good-looking as ours, why not!

  
  

   

  
  

  Rosa & Yud.  cousin Jennifer, aka Furfur, aka ChangChang, aka subject_jc.

  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  

  Brangelina.

  
  

   

  
  

  We had our shopping sights on this massive place -- the former trashy Ocean One pier mall (think Gap, Spencer Gifts, Sam Goody, arcade, food court), now extremely madeover into the swanky upscale new Pier Shops (think Apple, Gucci, Movado, Michaek Kors, Buddakan, Sonsie).

  
  

  

  
  

  Inside the mall with expansive windows overlooking the beach.

  
  

  

  
  

  It was a truly gorgeous day in AC.

  
  

  

  
  

  The Atlantic Ocean isn't too shabby.

  
  

  

  
  

  Ladies of leisure.

  
  

   

  
  

  AC Atonement.  As children, the 3 of us were lugged around to AC dozens (hundreds) of times by mom & dad, and left to fend (die) for ourselves while they gambled (away our college funds), usually on American holidays (practically every weekend) like christmas, thanksgiving, new years.  We survived on arcades (Street Fighter II!) and food courts (fried clams baskets & cheesesteaks) alone, and we became the bastard AC children of (negligent) casino parents (addicts).  Then when mom & dad were done gambling (broke), we'd all pile back into the car and head home like nothing happened and they'd buy us toys as rewards (pity) for being good (abandoned).  Well, Yud, Furfur and I are all grown up now and it's time to erase those painful (super-fun) memories and create memories (losing money) of our own!  This trip was very significant (selfish) for us.  Just us, as adults (grown-up children) having tremendous fun (getting fat).

  
  

  

  
  

  After a skedaddle at the retail mall where spent no money, we headed just behind the casinos to the brand new OUTLET SHOPS and spent lots of money!  If you haven't been to AC is the last couple years, your jaw will hit the floor.  They practically built a Woodbury Commons right behind Caesars/Trump/Bally's, with the usual tantalizing outlet shops -- CK, Nike, Banana, H&M, KennethCole, Converse, BCBG, dozens more.  So we wasted much of our money there rather than in the casinos.  Then it was...

  
  

  DINNERTIME!!

  
  

  

  
  

  Follow the finger to....

  
  

  

  
  

  AC's famed DOCK'S OYSTER HOUSE.  Lovingly dubbed (by me) as the Peter Luger's of Seafood.  Well, I hate Luger's.  but I LOVE DOCK'S!

  
  

   

  
  

  First order of business -- a round of shots.  It was Furfur's first-ever shot, and bubbyMichael went easy on her and ordered us some B52's.  It was intricately poured and layered by the bartender with Bailey's, Kahlua, Amaretto, something something.  It was scrumptious!!  It went down like chocolate milk, and warmed the ears like a nice fireside Brandy.

  
  

  

  
  

  Pose pose pose.....

  
  

  EAT EAT EAT!

  
  

  

  
  

  FRIED OYSTERS!  At two bucks a piece, these little golden nuggets were so orgasmically divine, I could eat 100 of them.

  
  

  

  
  

  SHELLFISH SAMPLER, a triple tier of chilled goodness.  From the top:  seafood ceviche, shrimp cocktail, raw oysters, raw clams, jumbo lump crabmeat, mussells, chilled half-lobster tail. 

  
  

   

  
  

  This triple tier drove me to triple tears.

  
  

   
   

  
  

  Michael does an oyster shooter.  Furfur does an oyster shooter.  Yud does an oyster shooter.  I do a lobster shooter.

  
  

   

  
  

  Soup course, of course.  Lobster Corn bisque, and Clam Corn chowder.  Heartily heavenly. 

  
  

  

  
  

  Michael had SEARED SCALLOPS over mashed & rabe.  This was the perfect entree, taste/portion-wise.

  
  

  

  
  

  I had  SOFT SHELLED CRAB.  It was the day's special and it was mighty good.  I offered Michael a piece and he asked if I could peel the shell for him.  kaka!  He really wasn't kidding.  kaka.

  
  

  

  
  

  Rosa had the SEAFOOD FRY -- fried shrimp, fried lump meat crabcake, fried fish.

  
  

  

  
  

  Yud had:  BEEF & REEF, a filet mignon with a jumbo lobster tail.  Furfur had her own lobster tail.  It was all just way too much food for all of us, as we shared our entrees, stabbed at each other's plates, and forced food onto one another. 

  
  

    

  
  

  As if we had any room left, we had dessert.  But it wasn't just any dessert.  It was a molten chocolate cake with a warm oozing center of singing-birthday humiliation! 

  
  

  'I BEST NOT CATCH THIS FLICK ON YOU TUBE (yooo tuuube)'

  
  

  
  

  It happened all nite -- other tables alive with birthday singing commotion.  When it happened at the table right next to us, Yud and I both went "how embarrassing for those people..I would just die."  Then Furfur became 'those people' and died a little.  kakaka.  Silly rabbit....tricks are for 21 year old kids.

  
  

   

  
  

  HOOKERTINIS

  
  

  After dinner, we went to the Borgata for a look-around.  While it was pretty and posh, it was also super-crowded on a Saturday evening with the dumbest and drunkest of straight white people trying to get into the clubs.  It was a ridiculous scene....baldheaded security apes escorting tight AX-shirt-wearing guido men with red faces around with their high-heeled blond-hooker skank "girlfriends" following in tears.  Fun Saturday nite!  So we went back to Trump and tried to find a place to get a nice cosmo.  We settled on the large bustling bar on the large bustling casino floor of Caesars, where an old-man bartender from the 19th century made us 3 cosmos.  The WORST COSMO I ever had.  I could make a better cosmo with my eyes closed.  I could drink a cosmo and piss it back out into a glass and it would've tasted better.  To top off the bad drink, the Caesar's casino bar was crawling with hookers.  Yes, HOOKERS!!  Filthy low-class whores!!  Not respectable Thai tranny hookers that actually resemble women....but rather fug-ass missing-teeth south-Jersey crack-whore ones, probably from Camden, that look nothing like women.  So we presided over our $12 ass-tinis and took dreadful sips, and watched the hooker action at the bar.  I asked bubby "can you pick out the hookers?"  He turned his head and went "one, two, three, ....eight, nine....fourteen, fifteen" within 5 effortless seconds.  Right then, we abandoned our Hookertinis and went to gamble some, then crawled up to bed around 2am (about two hours short of my intended bed-time that nite).  No hookers came upstairs with us.  Just the horrid aftertaste of those skank-ass hookertinis.  We put AC Day 1 to bed.

  
  

   

  
  

  

  
  

  Next morning, we Starbuck'd, Boardwalk'd, roulette'd and video poker'd up a nice appetite for brunch.

  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  

  We ran into aunt on the Boardwalk.  She and my mom came too, but they basically used us for our room and a ride home.  Other than that, we didn't hang out with them.   

  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  

  Another gorgeous spring morning, but a tad windy.

  
  

  

  
  

  BRUNCHTIME!  We put our appetites in the hands of CONTINENTAL inside the posh Pier Shops mall.

  
  

   

  
  

  Furfur is touched by her new iTouch, courtesy of her brother's credit card. 

  
  

  To the right, we had a brunch appetizer:  Monkey Bread -- think cinnabon, but warmer, gooeyer, yummier.

  
  

  

  
  

  Crispy Calamari salad with sesame soy dressing

  
  

  

  
  

  bubbyMichael's cheesebubburger

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Mushroom & smoked gouda omelette

  
  

  

  
  

  Huevos rancheros w/ soft taco wrappers

  
  

  

  
  

  Blueberry Pancakes with sweet vanilla butter for the table to share

  
  

  

  
  

  Brunch with my family always involves a syrup-based entree that everyone wants, but everyone also wants eggs or other.  So we order a communal pancake/french toast/syrup thing.

  
  

   

  
  

  After brunch, the candy shop is raided. 

  
  

   

  
  

  We ran into an abandoned (plastic)horse & buggy and went for a "spin". 

  
  

  

  
  

  So that concludes our Atlantic City spectacular, in honor of my cousin's 21st birthday.  The weekend was so fun and carefree and decadent, we've decided to make it an annual family trip.  AC has bounced back from Vegas-envy in a big way, and it's only getting better.  And a family better than mine?  I wouldn't bet on it.

  • 4:31 pm
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