MARIAH'S NEW VID!  A song about dearly departed loved ones...and she still manages to make it glamourous and skin-bearing.  And why the hell not??  She looks better than ever and she's not morbid...she's Mariah!  Her new husband Nick Cannon is also in it.  Ominous!  Putting him in a death-song video could be potentially foolish (and laughable) if they divorce in a month (but easy to edit out his scenes and replace with more bikini shots).  Or it could be unimaginably emotional and wise if they stay married their whole lives and he dies before her.  In any case, this is for her peoples who just lost somebody, your best friend, your baby, your men or your lady...

10 Things I Truly Enjoyed in April!

10).  PANTONE PLATES FROM FISHS EDDY.  Bridezillas with their hundred-dollar fancy China place settings...not my thing.  I'm always on the lookout for must-have diningware that's afforable (I tend to break plates/bowls/cups easily).  I fell in love with these snazzy new plates at the FISHS EDDY store on Broadway & 19th.  Their Pantone collection features 4 Pantone colors:  Burnt Ochre, Dusk Blue, Lettuce Green, Sahara Sun.   I picked up 2 of each, and they've made the impossible happen...making dinnertime an even happier occasion than before.

9). LATEST 'SEX & THE CITY' TRAILER.  First, watch it in High-Def, then let's discuss.  Here's what we know:  The movie seems to starts with Carrie and John James Preston(Mr. Big!)'s wedding.  Carrie gets a phone call that changes everything (Big's not divorced?  pre-nup?  sterile?  Natasha??).  She calls off the wedding, changes her hair color, and starts dating Jennifer Hudson.  What else?  Char is preg.  Sam is horny.  Steve cheated on Miranda.  The song playing is India Arie's "Heart of the Matter" which I just love.  The movie spans at least 6 months (via Charlotte's belly size), if not years.  I'm salivating at the thought of owning this DVD a year from now.  Oh, and May 30th.

8).  YELLOW BUSHES.  April's surest sign of spring is the annual blooming of these gorgeous omnipresent yellow bushes.  Preliminary google research tells me they may be called Scotch Broom, Golden Rod, or Cytisus.  I don't care what the proper name is...I just call it happy yellow goodness.  These yellow bushes are a true delight to see on front lawns and roadsides for the 2 or 3 weeks they're yellow.  Then they morph back to ugly invisible green bushes for 50 more weeks.

7).  USHER "Love In This Club" & ALICIA KEYS "The Thing About Love". 
It's hard to hate someone as overrated as Usher (and that nose), especially when he delivers such inescapable club hits as the infectious "Love In This Club."  The song's video also features an Usher dance number that deserves a fight-to-the-death dance-off with Justin Timberlake.  Unlike JT, Usher knows when to take a break between albums and let us get over being sick of him.  On the flip side, Alicia Keys delivers yet another heart-stoppingly soulful tune off her album which has already struck aural KOs with "No One" to "Like You'll Never See Me Again."  I first heard "The Thing About Love" played over a heavy scene on "Medium" and it was pitch-perfect for tv emotion.  Her songs must be a church funeral favorite. 

6).  ATROCIOUS ESL.
My mom buys these weird shampoos and body washes from Flushing, and the labels are absolutely laughable in grammar, spelling, and common sense.  This latest one reads:  France Hippocampus Perfume Sodyskap.  WTFob?!  Here's my fobrensic grammarnalysis:

FRANCE = meant to be Fragrance.  The copy editor just got lazy.

HIPPOCAMPUS = who the fuck knows.  Michael tells me Hippocampus is part of the human brain.  Great...human brain in soap.

PERFUME = shocker!  They got one right.  I was expecting Ferpume.

SODYSKAP = KAKA!!  I believe they were going for Bodysoap and just hit the wrong keys on the Brother P-Touch labelmaker.  That, plus a whole team of mainland chinese marketing genuises are just not smarter than a 2nd grade ESL student.  Tell me again why they're an economic superpower?  Seems like just a bunch of clueless sodyskaps to me. 
 

5).  SIMPLE SPLENDID MEALS AT HOME. 
I've been eating out a lot this month, and at the end of the day, I'm just broke and just craving something I can easily whip up at home.  One go-to dish for me is Shrimp Scampi with lemon butter rice (all you need is fresh chopped garlic, fresh squeezed lemons, and a stick of buttah).  I upped the gourmet ante by roasting red peppers, then stuffing them with lemony-buttery rice & shrimp.  It's a beautifully simple and scumptious dish that won't cost $25 a person or leave you with that 'I should've skipped the appetizers/soup/salad/dessert' vomittous regret.
 

4).  REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NYC.  Bravo just concluded their trashtastic Real Housewives of NYC season, and I'm already going thru severe withdrawal.  The ladies of the OC and Wisteria Lane were never this good!  These housewives evolved from desperate(to be on tv) in Episode 1 to becoming the reigning socialista queens on reality tv by Episode 7.  LuAnn's pretentious countess poise,  Jill's fierce and relatable yenta-ism, Ramona's Alex/Simon-killing bipolar ferocity, and Bethenny's killer one-liners.  With vivid personas and a self-aware witty humor about them, these leading ladies got better with each episode, each catty gettogether, and each backstab to the camera.  And it all culminated brilliantly with a Reunion episode that truly kakakilled!   

3).  MY GAYS.  My numerous attempts over the years to create a group of "My Girls" went over as well as a felony stalker charge.  Other attempts have resulted in social suicides of gals with whom I no longer wanted to K.I.T.  Then it Dawned on me that I wasn't meant to possess a group of sassy cohesive girls  (justLinda).  That's because I already have MY GAYS.  My NJ gays to be exact.  Bennifer & P.diddy, Keith, Gary & Aaron....our core group of reliable good friends for reliable good meals, great parties, and gay ole times.  Our Jersey proximity helps, as does our shared interest in food/alcohol/men.  We are family.
  
(last friday, out at Chelsea gay bar G on 19th St, enjoying G's frozen cosmos & appletinis)

(last Saturday, birthday dinner for Keith at Johnny Carino's in Clifton, NJ)

2).  HULU.COM
The worst thing to happen to work productivity since my xanga,  Hulu.com is the revolutionary new site spawned by NBC & FOX where you can watch their new and old shows, completely for FREE.  My second DVR at home is almost unnecessary now because I watch all my shows here:  The Office, 30 Rock, My Name Is Earl, Top Chef, The Simpsons.  Plus, I watch some cancelled shows I used to enjoy like Kitchen Confidential and The Loop.  Hulu doesn't have full eps of every NBC and Fox show, and I haven't figured out their airing selection strategy yet.  But they also have various shows from Bravo, Sci-Fi, and even full-length movies (Moonstruck, The Usual Suspects).  Who am I to look s a tv gifthorse in the mouth?  So now, between ABC.com, CBS.com, and Hulu.com, I expect never to shell out $1.99 for an episode of anything to iTunes ever again.

1).  E=MC2
For those not in the know, Emanicaption=MariahCareySquared.  For those in the know, Mariah=LeonaLewisWHO!?  Mariah's new album dropped 2 weeks ago and I haven't been able to drop it from my ipod playlist.  I am addicted to it!  E=MC2 is easier to listen to from beginning to end than Emancipation of Mimi was.  Each song can easily be a radio hit, whether it's an R&B collaboration ("Side Effects"), a sure-fire #1 ballad ("Bye Bye"), a reggae jam ("Cruise Control"), or a disco treat ("I'll Be Loving You Long Time").  With "Touch My Body", MC reached 18 career #1 hits beating Elvis' record.  E=MC2 will go down in history as the album that gave Mariah over 20 #1's as she conquers the Beatles' record.  And the song to do it will my absolute favorite, "I Stay In Love".

When I turned 21 (um, 9 years ago), I was living at my parent's house in Queens -- in college living at home, alone, miserable, friendless, like a virgin.  No party, no cool friends in my life, no significant other, no enviable life whatsoever.  The very day I turned 21, I think I ate a hostess cupcake, watched Golden Girls, and cried into my teddy bears.  Truly sad!

Well, I didn't want the same sad fate to befall my favorite cousin JENNIFER as she turned 21 last week.  SO...my brother, Rosa, bubbyMichael and I scooped her and whisked her off for a fun & food filled ATLANTIC CITY/LUCKY 21 weekend!  No crying into teddy bears, but maybe an empty wallet.

Our hotel of choice:  TRUMP PLAZA, for its central proximity to the Boardwalk & shopping.  Otherwise, we would've gone the Borgata way.

Room with a view.  Most people have to fight, argue, bitch & scream to get a room view like this.  All I had to do was bat my eyelashes and hint at my highly judgmental blog.  Thanks, hotels.com.

The beach just beyond the Boardwalk.  The structure to the right is the old AC convention center where Miss America pageants are/were held.

First order of business:  hit the Boardwalk for our first photo shoot.  When your family is as good-looking as ours, why not!

 

Rosa & Yud.  cousin Jennifer, aka Furfur, aka ChangChang, aka subject_jc.

Brangelina.

 

We had our shopping sights on this massive place -- the former trashy Ocean One pier mall (think Gap, Spencer Gifts, Sam Goody, arcade, food court), now extremely madeover into the swanky upscale new Pier Shops (think Apple, Gucci, Movado, Michaek Kors, Buddakan, Sonsie).

Inside the mall with expansive windows overlooking the beach.

It was a truly gorgeous day in AC.

The Atlantic Ocean isn't too shabby.

Ladies of leisure.

 

AC Atonement.  As children, the 3 of us were lugged around to AC dozens (hundreds) of times by mom & dad, and left to fend (die) for ourselves while they gambled (away our college funds), usually on American holidays (practically every weekend) like christmas, thanksgiving, new years.  We survived on arcades (Street Fighter II!) and food courts (fried clams baskets & cheesesteaks) alone, and we became the bastard AC children of (negligent) casino parents (addicts).  Then when mom & dad were done gambling (broke), we'd all pile back into the car and head home like nothing happened and they'd buy us toys as rewards (pity) for being good (abandoned).  Well, Yud, Furfur and I are all grown up now and it's time to erase those painful (super-fun) memories and create memories (losing money) of our own!  This trip was very significant (selfish) for us.  Just us, as adults (grown-up children) having tremendous fun (getting fat).

After a skedaddle at the retail mall where spent no money, we headed just behind the casinos to the brand new OUTLET SHOPS and spent lots of money!  If you haven't been to AC is the last couple years, your jaw will hit the floor.  They practically built a Woodbury Commons right behind Caesars/Trump/Bally's, with the usual tantalizing outlet shops -- CK, Nike, Banana, H&M, KennethCole, Converse, BCBG, dozens more.  So we wasted much of our money there rather than in the casinos.  Then it was...

DINNERTIME!!

Follow the finger to....

AC's famed DOCK'S OYSTER HOUSE.  Lovingly dubbed (by me) as the Peter Luger's of Seafood.  Well, I hate Luger's.  but I LOVE DOCK'S!

 

First order of business -- a round of shots.  It was Furfur's first-ever shot, and bubbyMichael went easy on her and ordered us some B52's.  It was intricately poured and layered by the bartender with Bailey's, Kahlua, Amaretto, something something.  It was scrumptious!!  It went down like chocolate milk, and warmed the ears like a nice fireside Brandy.

Pose pose pose.....

EAT EAT EAT!

FRIED OYSTERS!  At two bucks a piece, these little golden nuggets were so orgasmically divine, I could eat 100 of them.

SHELLFISH SAMPLER, a triple tier of chilled goodness.  From the top:  seafood ceviche, shrimp cocktail, raw oysters, raw clams, jumbo lump crabmeat, mussells, chilled half-lobster tail. 

 

This triple tier drove me to triple tears.

 
 

Michael does an oyster shooter.  Furfur does an oyster shooter.  Yud does an oyster shooter.  I do a lobster shooter.

 

Soup course, of course.  Lobster Corn bisque, and Clam Corn chowder.  Heartily heavenly. 

I had  SOFT SHELLED CRAB.  It was the day's special and it was mighty good.  I offered Michael a piece and he asked if I could peel the shell for him.  kaka!  He really wasn't kidding.  kaka.

Rosa had the SEAFOOD FRY -- fried shrimp, fried lump meat crabcake, fried fish.

Yud had:  BEEF & REEF, a filet mignon with a jumbo lobster tail.  Furfur had her own lobster tail.  It was all just way too much food for all of us, as we shared our entrees, stabbed at each other's plates, and forced food onto one another. 

  

As if we had any room left, we had dessert.  But it wasn't just any dessert.  It was a molten chocolate cake with a warm oozing center of singing-birthday humiliation! 

'I BEST NOT CATCH THIS FLICK ON YOU TUBE (yooo tuuube)'

It happened all nite -- other tables alive with birthday singing commotion.  When it happened at the table right next to us, Yud and I both went "how embarrassing for those people..I would just die."  Then Furfur became 'those people' and died a little.  kakaka.  Silly rabbit....tricks are for 21 year old kids.

 

HOOKERTINIS

After dinner, we went to the Borgata for a look-around.  While it was pretty and posh, it was also super-crowded on a Saturday evening with the dumbest and drunkest of straight white people trying to get into the clubs.  It was a ridiculous scene....baldheaded security apes escorting tight AX-shirt-wearing guido men with red faces around with their high-heeled blond-hooker skank "girlfriends" following in tears.  Fun Saturday nite!  So we went back to Trump and tried to find a place to get a nice cosmo.  We settled on the large bustling bar on the large bustling casino floor of Caesars, where an old-man bartender from the 19th century made us 3 cosmos.  The WORST COSMO I ever had.  I could make a better cosmo with my eyes closed.  I could drink a cosmo and piss it back out into a glass and it would've tasted better.  To top off the bad drink, the Caesar's casino bar was crawling with hookers.  Yes, HOOKERS!!  Filthy low-class whores!!  Not respectable Thai tranny hookers that actually resemble women....but rather fug-ass missing-teeth south-Jersey crack-whore ones, probably from Camden, that look nothing like women.  So we presided over our $12 ass-tinis and took dreadful sips, and watched the hooker action at the bar.  I asked bubby "can you pick out the hookers?"  He turned his head and went "one, two, three, ....eight, nine....fourteen, fifteen" within 5 effortless seconds.  Right then, we abandoned our Hookertinis and went to gamble some, then crawled up to bed around 2am (about two hours short of my intended bed-time that nite).  No hookers came upstairs with us.  Just the horrid aftertaste of those skank-ass hookertinis.  We put AC Day 1 to bed.

 

Next morning, we Starbuck'd, Boardwalk'd, roulette'd and video poker'd up a nice appetite for brunch.

We ran into aunt on the Boardwalk.  She and my mom came too, but they basically used us for our room and a ride home.  Other than that, we didn't hang out with them.   

Another gorgeous spring morning, but a tad windy.

BRUNCHTIME!  We put our appetites in the hands of CONTINENTAL inside the posh Pier Shops mall.

 

Furfur is touched by her new iTouch, courtesy of her brother's credit card. 

To the right, we had a brunch appetizer:  Monkey Bread -- think cinnabon, but warmer, gooeyer, yummier.

bubbyMichael's cheesebubburger

Brunch with my family always involves a syrup-based entree that everyone wants, but everyone also wants eggs or other.  So we order a communal pancake/french toast/syrup thing.

 

After brunch, the candy shop is raided. 

 

We ran into an abandoned (plastic)horse & buggy and went for a "spin". 

So that concludes our Atlantic City spectacular, in honor of my cousin's 21st birthday.  The weekend was so fun and carefree and decadent, we've decided to make it an annual family trip.  AC has bounced back from Vegas-envy in a big way, and it's only getting better.  And a family better than mine?  I wouldn't bet on it.

Dolly night was better than some previous seasons' country themes.  Can't say I know much of Dolly's music, but I certainly did not roll my eyes at this theme.  Having Dollywood'd last summer and had a glorious time, I have a soft spot for everything Dolly stands for.  Everything about her negates the backwoods hickness of the south and she gave us a pretty decent Idol show.

BROOKE WHITE
justok.  Girl really needs to learn to STFU during judges' critiques.  Lovely when she sings; justplainannoying when she speaks.

DAVID COOK
meh.  Being a front runner with still so many weeks to go is not always a good thing.  It killed Chris Daughtry and Melinda Doolittle.  And apparently, it's tried to kill him as well.  He was rushed to the hospital after the show.

RAMIELE MALUBAY
meh.  too little (her height), too late (her bangs in the style timeline).  bye.

JASON CASTRO
ugh.  Some people look at him and swoon.  I look at him and dry-heave.   

CARLY SMITHSON
sleeveless.  again.  (dry-heave).

COUNTRY LEE COOK
She's ensured herself another week's stay.  Country Lee is so damn lucky.  It's like Ramiele getting a Disney-themed week and she sings "It's a Small World After All." 

SYESHA MERCADO 
I will always (try to) love her.  In the beginning, Syesha did nothing for me.  But her "Yesterday" was splendid, and her "I Will Always Love You" was brave and rather marvelous.  I didn't think she had it in her, and it was a respectable attempt at Whitney and I enjoyed it.

MICHAEL JOHNS
meh.  I neither find him attractive nor relevant anymore.  His frog mouth/jaw is grotesque and I expect him to "ribbit" at any given moment.

DAVID ARCHULETA
My boy is back!!  With the right slow song, David A. is unstoppable.  His "Smoky Mountain Memories" was resplendently moving and relevant to the competition.  He reclaimed "Imagine" glory just in the nick of time.  You can tell he knows it too during judging, when his lips quiver and he looks like he's about to faint on stage.  It's a matter of time before he pulls a Marie Osmond on "Dancing With the Stars"...only his would be for real.

THE LOWDOWN:  I CAN'T WAIT FOR MARIAH WEEK!!

All this talk of Dolly and Smoky Mountains reminded that I never did get around to posting an entry from last summer.  So here now are my.....

 

*SMOKY MOUNTAIN MEMORIES*

Our last summer's trip to Tennessee (Dollywood, Gatlinburg) was not complete without a foray with nature, especially since we were in the heart of the Smoky Mountains.  We drove up the mountain and stopped at this breathtaking lookout.

 

I look like I have mouse teats.  This stretchy t-shirt always does that.  I call it my nipple-T.  Check out the view!  (the mountains, not my teats).

bubby and brother Phil.

  

It was purely gorgeous up there.  Take a minute to soak it in.

 

   

 

Along the drive, 2 cars in front of us stopped.  wtf?  Move it assholes!  honk honk!   Then we saw it.  Smokey the Bear crossing the road!

This petite mama bear had a little cub bumbling behind her.  It was so cute!!  I wanted to cover it in honey and take him home.  bubbyMichael ordered me to stay in the car, as he knows my teddy bear fetish all too well.  I didn't get a pic of the cub though...my photo fingers weren't fast or steady enough.  The cub followed mama closely, and they crossed the street right behind our car and continued down the woods. 

 

We came upon the start of a few hiking trails.  hmm... 1.2 miles to the Grotto Falls, OR  6.4 to Mount LeConte??  Decisions decisions. 

  

Grotto Falls'ing on!!!

The trail to the Falls took about a 1/2 hr, and was not terribly treacherous.  But without water and wearing sandals, we were kinda dying.

 

We stopped often to consider turning back, taking a leak on the trail, and pushing old ladies over the cliff for their Poland Springs.  We passed several people on the trail, and they all had picnic baskets.  It was then that we contemplated committing a most despicable human act -- offering them $10 for a bottle of water.

The Grotto Falls! 

 

It was late August, so the falls were merely a trickle.  Normally the falls are rushing.  Nothing beats fresh clean water descending from the mountain tops.

 

A lady offered to take our picture, and suggested we take off our shoes and go behind the falls.  I said "oh what a great idea!  god bless your kind heart."  Meanwhile, I was really thinking:  Run off with my camera and I'll hunt your ass down and pull your hair bald. 

 

The water was rather chilly. My legs felt (and look) like twin pasty popsicle sticks. 

 

 

Smoky the Bare takes a rest from escorting her cubs around, and goes for swimming for salmon. 

 

Michael and Phil sat atop the rocks and made catty judgments on the common folk below, meanwhile I did some catty self-portraiting.

Immediately after hiking back to our car, we drove a bit and came upon a most delightful sight....a convenience store just off the road!  By "store", I mean "shack".  It was a dilapidated shop attached to some bumpkin's trashy home in the woods.  I went inside and grabbed 3 waters and 3 Nesteas.  As I'm paying for them, the hick-woodsman clerk comments to me "boy, aren't you a skinny feller.  don't they feed you where you came from?"  I think he licked his lips.  A shiver ran down my spine and I said "I'm fed quite well where I come from, thank you."  I could swear I heard a banjo.  I threw cash at the Blair Witch and ran back to the car.  We descended the mountain with a New York City quickness.

And after the foray in the mountains....

BACK TO BUBBA.  The place so good, we had to have it again.  We were so drained and parched after the hike and wanted to just stop by for some refreshing beverages.  Don't be fooled....the following Bubba pics I have not posted before.  I did previously gush about Gump.  This is part 2 of that love affair.

 

I found salvation in their Blueberry Lemonade.  As if we wouldn't order food as well??  The bucket of peel & eat Garlic Shrimp was too tantalizing to pass up.  Made simply with butter and garlic....even my shrimp scampi never comes out this effortlessly flavorful! 

 

Appetizer Sampler, featuring fried shrimp and mahi-mahi Hush Puppies, shrimp cocktail,...

 

...buffalo chicken tenders, and spinach artichoke dip with crispy nachos.  Now those are some Smoky Mountain memories to sing a song about.

Not just a command to enjoy the meal, Buon Appetito is our humble little NJ town of Bayonne's Italian restaurant that delivers $18.95 lobsterfest on Friday nites.  Last Friday, we went with our Bayonne crew -- Steven & Phyllis, Rob & Diana.  We 6 ordered up a storm of appetizers, sangria, and lobster or steak dinners. 

Mussells in white wine broth.  This was every bit as tantalizing as the picture makes it seem.  Lemon, butter, wine, garlic...you could throw styrofoam in it and I'd lick the plate clean.

Seafood salad....chock full of squid, shrimp, clams, celery, red onions in lemony, olive oily goodness.

As if this plate of heaven needs any words.

Sangria.  I saw Rob eat one of the little orange cubes off the peel, like a regular orange slice.  It was the cutest thing.  I wanted to pet him like a cat.

The guys went for the steak special, topped with onions & mushrooms.

The girls went for lobstah, with buttah.  Come to mama, lovah!

Yay lobster bib!  heh heh....this bib is uh, tricky.

hmm...I seem to be having unusual trouble opening this damn thing.  My lobster's getting cold.

STILL STRUGGLING!  This is fucking ridiculous! 

After a 5-minute ordeal, by bib is open and I'm suited up and ready for battle. 

bubby goes:  "I've taken about 40 shots of you struggling.  This is so embarrassing for you on xanga."

Can I stop smiling now and get down to business?

Unlike the bib, I did not struggle with my lobster.  It was obediently succulent.

At the end of the night (after a molten chocolate cake that everyone watched me eat), we were all deliriously full and happy.  Suddenly, the check comes...and it's already been paid!  Diana had snuck away to the "bathroom" and treated us all.  Rob & Diana pull stunts like this ALL THE TIME with us.  Ugh.  And by "ugh", I mean I love them.

 

I can't begin to tell you how many people asked me last week "do you celebrate Easter?"  I look at them, puzzled.  Bunnies, chocolates, eggs, eating....what's not to celebrate??  Not like it's a religious holiday or something.  When I hear "Easter", all I really hear is "eat, sir".  And so I shall.  And did.  I had my family over, and hubbs and I cooked up a meal that our savior -- the Cadbury bunny -- would be proud of.

Mom is incapable of coming over without bringing me every fruit that ever existed.  This time:  6 mangoes, 5 papayas, 2 nectarines, 2 apples, 1 pineapple, 1 guava, 1 box of strawberries.  Fruits for the fruit...I get it.  All I can do is laugh, make fruit salad, and strike a pose.  (and I pawned half the fruit off on cousin Jennifer!)

The menu was comfortably ambitious and the kitchen was bustling.  Everyone was put to work.

Rosa stirred the butternut squash soup.

Furfur plated the roasted red potatoes.

Rosa's parents chillaxed in the LR.

Then we EAT,SIR.

Divine Sushi Platter that's become the 11th member of our family.

I made my ridiculously simple and ludicrously delicious French's-french-fried-onions encrusted chicken breast.  I repeat:  3 ingredients (chicken breast, beaten eggs, crushed FFFonions) + 400 degrees + 30 mins = oohs + aaahhs + mmmms

I also made my signature Cilantro Pesto Pasta salad, spruced up with some roasted red peppers and fresh mozzarella cubes. 

Michael's creamy decadent Bubbynut Squash Soup.

Event dinners with my family are a no-fuss, no-muss, no-drama, no-tension all-around-pleasant delicious affair.  Food truly unites.

The core 9 of our extended family:  me & bubbyMichael, mom & dad, bro Yud & Rosa, Rosa's parents, cousin Jennifer....

oops...core 10.  sorrie Buddie!

As we were feasting, the only begging Buddie does at the table is for apples.  This stuffed animal come-to-life is a pure poochie pleasure.  He still doesn't bark at all and does the cutest things.  He sits, stands, paw, and actually rolls over! 

...and doggie makes 3. 

Mom has a new favorite buddy.  She spoils him with attention, baths, and apples.  Fruit = love.

If someone had told me a year ago that mom would love an animal this much, I'd have said you were crazy-la.  She always turned her nose up at people's "dirty and smelly" pets and never wanted a pet around bc of the "mess."  Now she's more than ok-la with it.

"give me the apple or lose a finger, grandma"

If someone had told me a year ago that bubbyMichael would adore a doggie this much, I'd have said you were crazy-la.  He always turned his nose up at people's "ill-behaved and annoying" dogs and never wanted a dog around bc of the neediness and endless yipping.  Now he's more than ok-la with it.

  

I have lots of delinquent entries that I started but never posted.  Here's one, with food!  Over a month ago, our jolly friend Seattle Scott's kid brother, Mark, was in town and we escorted him to RoomService for the same fabulous Thai meal that Scott had when he visited.  Except now, RoomService has changed its name to THAI TERMINAL, to differentiate itself from a Chelsea club of the same name.  The service and food remain impeccable.  The menu, slightly tweaked, yet still massively delicious.  Food this pretty should be in a museum  (and by "museum", I mean my mouth).  Here's some art appreci-ATE-tion.

At this place, choosing 1 or 2 appetizers is just not a viable option.  You must go for 4 or 5 like we always do.  And we went for these tasty treasures...

Chicken Satay:  barbecue marinated chicken served w/ peanut sauce & cucumber chutney.

Crab & Shrimp Roll:  Crispy roll stuffed with crabmeat & shrimp served plum sauce.

Bangkok Wings:  Crispy chicken wings marinated w/ Thai seasoning served w/ sweet chili sauce.

Galanga Tom Kha Soup:  Southern Thai coconut soup w/ fresh mushrooms & vegs seasoned with galangal, chili, lime juice.

Beef Steak Salad:  herb-marinated grilled beef, red onion, cherry tomato, tossed in chili lime juice dressing.

Duck Tamarind:  roasted boneless duck w/ mixed vegs in sweet tamarind sauce.

 

Massaman Curry Avocado:  mild curry w/ potato, onion, carrot, peanut, avocado.  My fave!

Spicy Basil Chicken

Fried Ice Cream, which they give me on the house. 

us with Scott's (hottie) brother, Mark. 

us with Thai Terminal's darling lovely hostess, Ae.  If you go, ask for Ae and tell her that I sent you!  Say you're "a friend of Jason, who had his birthday party here in Nov."  She'll treat you well.  You're guaranteed a fabulous meal, and maybe she'll throw in a little something extra for you.  Marichu recently went there and loved it.  She didn't toss my name around, but she had a fabulous meal and wants to go back.  I've raved about this place 3 times now.  Isn't it about time you gave in and went yourself??

For my readers and stalkers who come here expecting to drool over my food or me, I know the last few weeks have been less than ideal (and more just IDOL).  Well while I'm in between Idol entries, let's get back to the 4 basic food groups for a moment: savory meats & vegs; desserts; cocktails; and posing. 

Last Saturday our NJ gays came over -- Bennifer & Patrick, Keith; Gary & Aaron.  I perfected my Pomegranate Martini:

- vodka  (start with a few shots)
- Rose's lime  (a dash)
- Pom juice 
- OJ  (a splash)

bubbyMichael & I cooked up a storm for the crew.  I was so thrilled with this meal, I provide easy to follow recipes below.  I'm not big on precise measurements and my dishes are versatile and kinda hard to fuck up if you're reasonably competent in the kitchen.

my Cilantro Pesto, easily replaces basil and is milder and more refreshing:

- large bunch of cilantro
- some kind of nut:  Pine nuts, walnuts, almonds  (I used toasted almonds here)
- 2 garlic cloves
- olive oil
- lemon juice
- salt & pepa

Throw all this into a food processor until pesto pastey.  Taste it, and add more of anything as needed.  Toss with pasta, cucumber and tomatoes.  It's insanely refreshing and tasty.

French's FrenchFriedOnions Encrusted Chicken Breast:

- 2 canisters of FrenchFried Onions, throw in ziplock & crush like bread crumbs
- flattened chicken breasts (10-15 medium pieces)
- 2 eggs beaten

Dip chicken breasts in egg, then coat with FFO mixture.  Press the coating onto the chicken so it sticks.  Place chicken on baking sheet (spray sheet or use Reynolds Release!), and bake at 400-degrees for 30 mins.  This dish is phenomenal!!  Only 3 ingredients and everyone will be wow'd!

hubbybubby whipped up some pierogies!  Frozen Mrs.T's pierogies, cooked in boiling water.  In pan, melt a stick of butter and sautee chopped onions.  When onions are soft, toss in cooked pierogies and serve. 

My crabcakes & roasted red pepper sauce.  Truth be told, I'm over my crabcakes.  I've made it 3 times and I'm sick of them.  Time to reinvent.

Simple roasted Red Peppers.  Sliced and tossed with chopped garlic, olive oil, salt & pepper.  Sprinkle on baking sheet at 400 degrees for 45 mins.  The sweet succulent peppers and fragrant oil that result are a heavenly accompaniment to the chicken.  

Shockingly, dinner turned into Wii night.  It's official -- everyone we know now owns a Wii.  And it's official -- no one goes out anymore.  We all just stay in and Wii.  The gay bars in the city are inhabited only the single, lonely, sad, and Wii-less. 

Keith, Ben, me, P.diddy, Aaron, Gary.

Strawberry Shortcake from Carlo's in Hoboken...the BEST BAKERY IN THE WORLD.   I've never been in there, but I've tasted their Tiramisu and now this Shortcake.  They are forks down the BEST cakes of their kind I've ever tasted. 

Not to be outdone, this medley of frozen/thawed Cheesecake Factory cheesecakes were amazing!  There was vanilla bean, strawberry, Oreo cookie, and raspeberry-lemon.  Everyone was so full, this cheesecake was hardly touched.  So I had 2 slices every night for the next 4 nights.  I don't let this kind of thing go to waste.  As if.

This was one of the most satisfying dinner & dessert pairings ever.  I have been on a massive cooking spree lately, racking up my signature recipes and dishes.  And I got back my dinner party mojo that evaded me on New Year's Eve.  Yay to jabay!

 

This was No Oscars For Old Friends, as Linda and I broke our 6-year tradition of spending Oscar nite together with gourmet food, glitzy giggling, and premium A-list bitchery.  Instead, we each watched it in Alonement...in our own homes...in jammies....fast-forwarding on DVR.   I watched it in true alonement...not even bubbyMichael(Clayton) would sit with me on the couch to mock the celebs.  As for Linda and me...we'll hook up again probably in May or Juno, when we finally have time for each other.  That about sums up our anti-climactic mood leading up to this culmination of a strike-drama addled awards seasons....uncelebratory and cynical.  But that gave me a chance to type out my xanga thoughts as the show went on.  So strap yourselves in, because There Will Be Bitchery!


My Red Carpet Thoughts (as it was happening on E!):

It's raining on the red carpet.  After what Hollywood has put us thru with the last 3 months, they deserve the foul weather.  Suffer!  Ok, celebs are arriving now.  Why are Heidi Klum and Seal here?  At least she looks great, in red.  She looks good enough to be a nominee, but that's never gonna happen.  Seal's adult acne looks like it cleared up finally.  oh wait...they're Lupus scars, not acne?  Amy Adams looks amazing and milky white, like a life-like demure Jessica Rabbit.  She's lovely.  Julianne Moore who??  Look, it's George Clooney in the distance...how tiresome.  Ewww...John Travolta and The Rock have the same hairline.  From the dyed-dark sculpted hairline to the sideburns...they were separated at the spray-on hair club for men.  Anne Hathaway, in red too.  meh.  Her eyes & lips need their own zip code.  They're huge!  Ryanna Shecrest needs to slowly step away from the red carpet, and carefully hand the mic back to Joan Rivers or, even better, Kathy Griffin.  He needs to either be totally informed with film facts or completely flame on with the fashions.  He's just middling in idiocy and irrelevance.  Jennifer Garner looks great....wonderful hair.  omg...KAKA!  Gary Busey is on the loose!!  He's menacing Ryan, and Ryan just threw Jenn Garner to him like a sacrificial lamb.  kaka.  Gary A-Buse-y  manhandled Jennifer Garner (violent hug & kiss on the neck) and Ryan Seacrest (violent pat on the back and thinly veiled scary comments).  WTF?!  What parole board allowed him there??  omg...George Clooney up close!  *swoon*  He's yummy pefection...please don't ruin that with marriage and babies.  Miley Cyrus, in red too.  ugh.  Her teeth are so big....they should hook up with Anne Hathaway's eyes and lips.  How is she so popular??  Isn't she a Duff sister?  SeanP.PuffyDaddyDiddyCombs is here, desperately trying to slip into Hollywood's bed.  We haven't forgiven the black community for Jamie Foxx yet...what makes him think we want him anywhere near Oscar's stage??   Camer-yawn Diaz looks like she does at every awards show....sloppy in a dress we've seen her in numerous times before.  Marion Cotillard....wow!  Mermaidy white & gold by Jean-Paul Gaultier.  She looks like a gorgeous white leather Gucci purse with the bubble stitching.  She just added a nice touch of chic & unique to the RED RED RED carpet.  Katherine Heigl in red.  yawn.  Hilary Swank....wow!  Thank god she's not in red.  She wins the Cate Blanchett award for flawless perfection.  Her body is rocking!  Cate Blanchett is a letdown.  But she's preg, so it doesn't count.  Ditto Jessica Alba.  Is she with Carlos from "Desperate Housewives??"  Does Gabrielle know?  OMG...Renee Zellweger's hair!  what the fug?!  A disgruntled salon gay must've gotten into her limo, butchered her long blond hair, and sent his victim down the runway ashamed.  That is so tragic!!  Bridget Jones' Diarrhea-head.  No other visible fashion disasters in sight.  This is a good sign.  Hollywood is humbled and behaving.  Well, there's still Gary Busboy...

  
Heidi.
The new & improved Julianne Moore, aka, Amy Adams.

 
Best Dressed:
Hilary Swank for turning boring black into head to toe perfection.  She has the best Oscar red carpet track record.
Marion Cotillard for being a truly unexpected Best (Dressed) Actress.  A much deserved (fashion) win.  I need to see her movie.

 
We've seen Cate look tremendously better than this.  She gets a pregnant pass.
We rarely see George look more gorge than this.  Please don't get her preg.

 
It's like someone painted their hair on, with careful masking tape around the edges.

 
Cameron Diaz was rough looking, up close.  The beach/sun has enhanced her wrinkles, and she suffers from Gwyneth's double-decker-boobs-in-a-dress syndrome.
Renee Zellweger...poor thing was attacked by Gary Busey in her limo...a limo that he was apparently driving.



THE SHOW:

Jon Stewart was wonderful!  I cackled out loud several times, from the Olympia Dukakis joke, to the "and the Oscar baby goes to....Angelina Jolie" thing, to saying that during commercial breaks the celebs are sitting around making fun of what we're wearing at home.  KAKA.  The Oscars needed his steady jolt of harmless sarcasm. 

The most rewarding parts for me, watching on DVR, were rewinding to see the reactions of nominees when their names were NOT called.  For instance, BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR, when Jennifer Hudson called out Javier's name, the look on Hal Holbrook's face said: "I've waited 180 years for this moment, and this is the single most disappointing moment of my life.  I shall die now." 

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS:  my jaw dropped when Tilda Swinton won.  I love upsets!  When Tilda's name was called, the look on Ruby Dee's face said: "I've waited 180 years for this moment, and this is the single most disappointing moment of my life.  I shall die now." 

BEST ACTRESS: the best moment of the night!  Marion Cotillard -- I know nothing about her, but I wanted her to win so bad.  Just from the few clips from her movie and her stunning red carpet presence, she won me over.   When Marion's name was called, the look on Julie Christie's face said:  "I've waited 180 years for this moment, and  this is the single most disappointing moment of my life.  I shall die now." 

Best Song winner:  "Falling Slowly" by Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova.  What a great moment when they won.  Homeless people so rarely get to the Oscar stage.  (Gary Busey, for instance).  And what a great song.  I limewire'd it just moments before its win.  It beat out 3 bland goody-two-shoes Enchanted songs and I couldn't be happier.  Gold star to Jon Stewart for his classy move in bringing back out the girl to finish her winsome speech. 

*Memo to Helen Mirren*:  madam, for the last time, you are NOT a real queen.  Judi Dench knows when to stop, and so should you.   Get over yourself already. 

BEST ACTOR:  When Daniel Day-Lewis' name was called, the look on Tommy Lee Jones's face said: "I've waited 180 years for this moment, and this is the single most disappointing moment of my life.  I shall die now." 

And finally, BEST PICTURE.  Astoundingly for me, "No Country For Old Men" is the only picture nominee this year that I actually saw, and while the 2 hours were definitely riveting and intense, afterwards all I could really think was:  meh.   (This movie has one of those WTF?! endings.  Think fondly of me when you watch it and the movie ends).  Its across-the-board critical praise and awards domination made me roll my eyes for far too long, and I hoped any other movie would cause the final upset of the evening.   Alas, when "No Country" was called, the look on my face said:  "I've waited 3-1/2 hours for this moment, and this is the single most disappointing moment of the night.  I'm going to bed now.  OMG....Gary Busey is at my window!  I shall die now."

NEW MARIAH SINGLE!  Mimi's back and so are her sumptuous voice and luscious lumps.  Her new single is called "Touch My Body" (shocker), and it is hot!  Listen HERE.  Her voice is lotion...it's SO lotion.   And the best part.... there's no dangerous hiphop jibberish interlude during the song!  But that doesn't mean there won't be an Old Dirty Bastard remix later on (oh he died?), or a TI remix (oh he was arrested?), or Missy Elliot remix (oh in Switzerland getting her adam's apple shaved down?).  Well, there's always Da Brat (oh, adam's apple too?).  Chris Brown (busy tapping Rihanna's ass).  Foxy Brown (arrested?).  Jay Z (ditto the Chris Brown thing).  L'il Kim (Foxy Brown's cellmate?)  Tupac?  (oh).

Well then, it's JUSTMARIAH then.  Let's keep it that way ok?

(btw, Please spare me your "I don't like the song" comments.  If that's all you have to say, then go back to humming Colbie Calliet's "Bubbly", ok lame-ass?)