August 14, 2008

• *BED & BREAKFAST WEEKEND (Part 1)*

  The blog-tease is over!  (Although I know some of you kinda enjoyed it).  Thanks for your patience, friends and stalkers!  It was supposed to be a simple weekend getaway with 4 couples and 1 camera (mine) and a couple hundred pictures, but quickly got out of control with 3 cameras and over 1,000 pics!  So I have to divvy up the entries to minimize computers crashing from picture overload.

  
  

  

  
  

  Last Friday evening as we all arrived to begin our weekend away, we discovered peace, traquility, and much gaiety high up in the Catskills region in serene Barryville, NY.  Who knew a 90-min drive from the NYC can reveal a life that feels worlds away.

  
  

  

  
  

  Our spot was high up on a cliff overlooking the Delaware River that cuts thru NY & NJ.

  
  

   

  
  

  We pulled up to a large well-kept house nestled in the mountain woods -- our Bed & Breakfast.

  
  

   

  
  

  The B&B's name is ECCE, bitches.  ("Et-chay" is latin for "Behold"...ok, "bit-chays"?).  That's the name, learn it well, because there is lots of beauty to behold here. 

  
  

   

  
  

  Upon arrival, camera in hand, we came around the house to the expansive rear terrace and immediately lost all respect for skyscrapers and population density.  It was serene greenery and blue skies as far as the eye could see, and waaay too much fresh clean air for my nose and lungs to handle.

  
  

  

  
  

  Ecce flirts with the gorgeous landscape with perfectly situated large outdoor terraces and balconies. 

  
  

   

  
  

  We arrived rather late and hungry, so we began to prep our noshy food spread.  The gaysians are put to work, slicing, dicing, pouring, and plating.  As if you needed to put a gun to our heads?  I do this shit in my sleep!

  
  

    

  
  

  Voila!  4 kinds of cheese, 4 kinds of hummus, toasted pita, 4 kinds of kettle chips, bruschetta, sliced baquettes, hot salami, cracked pepper salami, pepperoni, 5 kinds of wine, and 8 hungry gays.

  
  

   

  
  

  Michael, Bob, Gary, Aaron, Aaron again, my head, Ben.

  
  

   

  
  

  me and the bubbs.  Todd and Bob, right.  Before I go on, it needs to be said that this weekend was not possible were it not for Bob.  Having been to this B&B b&before, he absolutely loved it and wanted to share it with his gay family.  He TREATED 3 other couples (the Tsaychockis, the GAarons, Bennifer & P.diddy) to this weekend and we are forever indebted and grateful for making this a weekend we'll always remember and savor.  THANKS AGAIN BOB!!!

  
  

   

  
  

  me and my new bff, Todd.  The running joke of the weekend was that we were twins.  Same skin tone, same twig-frame, same irresistibility.  At quick glance, when we're both wearing our (freakishly similar) dark-framed glasses, we are easily mistaken.  In fact, when they came to our house to pick us up, my neighbor waved hello to Todd thinking that was me.  It's fun having a twin, but I work alone.  Thank god I'm a foot taller!  Even though Todd is 13 lbs lighter than me (biiiiiiitch!!!!!)

  
  

  

  
  

  bubbyMichael manages to lift all 113 lbs of my fat ass, as I demonstrate my wing-span with my freakishly long arms.  The better to reach out and slap someone, I always say.  Or to steal food over someone's shoulder. 

  
  

   

  
  

  The wine was flowing profusely on the terrace, and before we got too drunk on the first nite, we took a group tour of each other's rooms.  Each couple had their own room, each room fabulously decorated with highly tasteful gay perfection by Ecce's wonderful owners, Alan & Kurt. 

  
  

   

  
  

  I believe I said, "wow, that tub's so big we can ALL get in!"  On the left, asian sweet & sour soup.  On the left, cream of potato!  (pause for cackles!!) Bob plays whirlpool receptionist. 

  
  

    

  
  

  This was our room, the Tsaychocki suite, with the only king size bed of all the rooms.  Turndown service with nightly chocolates.

  
  

    

  
  

  I believe I said "wow, this bed is so big we can all fit!"  and Wii Fit.  4 pairs of legs like a succulent dungeness crab. 

  
  

   

  
  

  Not to be outdone, the white guys desecrate my bed as well, and Michael starts a feet-fight with old bud, Gary.

  
  

  

  
  

  As the nighttime country chill set in, the gaiety moved indoors to the family room.

  
  

   

  
  

  We were in the country, but the only cowtipping we did was done by the glass.

  
  

   

  
  

  Escaped convict-shirt-wearing Bob cozies up to Todd and Bennifer.

  
  

   

  
  

  Aaron and P.undies.

  
  

   

  
  

  Drunk & frisky go hand in hand....or ass on back, or tongue in ear.

  
  

    

  
  

  Bennifer & Aaron are such domestic divas that they clean other people's homes, on vacation!  It's getting embarrassing taking them places (but not as embarrassing as Gary breaking a wine glass, shattering it to an O'briezillion pieces, which would go on to cut B&B owner Alan's leg TWICE the next day as he took out the glass-shard-filled trash.  Poor Alan...amputation is likely). 

  
  

   

  
  

  Todd stuck the camera in everyone's faces all night, so I stuck my ass in his camera.  Bootylicious or bonylicious?

  
  

   

  
  

  And so we've reached the ass end of night one.  We all crawled up to bed to refresh for the next day's eating & drinking adventures.

  
  

   

  
  

  SATURDAY MORNING, I was woken up not by garbage trucks, or noisy neighbors, or screaming children, or a dreadful alarm.  No, I was woken by the penetrating aromas of sauteed onions, crisping bacon, and coffee, permeating the crisp country open-window air, along with hint of sunlight peeking over the mountain ridge.  It was 7:30am and I was being summoned awake by these powerful forces of nature.

  
  

   

  
  

  After my morning primping, I emerged from my room to see everyone up and about below on the terrace.

  
  

    

  
  

  The circus must've rolled into town overnight and dressed Bennifer.  Good thing he changed out of these PJ's, or we would've run out of SPF-75.

  
  

  

  
  

  Morning fresh and ready for the day.

  
  

    

  
  

  Breakfast foreplay:  a spread of fresh fruit, cereal, yogurt & granola. 

  
  

   

  
  

  Business as usual.  I flutter from dish to dish snapping xanga content.  My gays all know me well enough to drop the fork and step away till I've done my thing, for everyone's safety.  Gary is compliant. 

  
  

   

  
  

  Warm peach crumbcake to wet our fatppetites.  And then the parade of otherwordly country breakfasts rolled in, cooked by owner/chef Kurt, served by owner/hostess cupcake Alan.  All of Ecce's country breakfasts come in the ingenius form of personal casserole bakes.  Each casserole baked with cut up egg-coated french toast - in sweet or savory orgasmic combinations of various fresh ingredients.

  
  

   

  
  

  On the left, an egg bake topped with olives and a cream cheese center.  Oozing bready and eggy goodness within.  On the right, a sweet French Toast bake with fresh berries, bananas, powdered sugar, and a chocolate treasure center.

  
  

  

  
  

  And here, my Summer Casserole bake with eggs, bread, broccoli florets, zucchini, tomato, mushrooms, and cheddar.  OMFG, this was supremely yummmmazing!!  I've never seen or had anything like this!  I'm thinking of stealing Kurt's recipes and franchising a chain of bruncheries that serve all these casseroles.  I could make meallions!  At Ecce, the Bed is great, but the Breakfast is better!!

  
  

   

  
  

  If you think all we did was sit around the house to eat & drink....think again.  We got into our cars....

  
  

   

  
  

  ...and went to the source!  Basha Kill Vineyards, 30-mins from Ecce. 

  
  

  

  
  

  Vanity in the vineyards.

  
  

  

  
  

  We lined up at the bar to begin our 6-course tasting.

  
  

   

  
  

  Vineyard's cute owner and wine-pourer, Paul, who tattooed his wine labels on his arm.  I wonder if he has a corkscrew tattooed somewhere.

  
  

  

  
  

  Look at me here, pretending to understand a technical answer to a question I asked, "how did this red come out so light in color?"  I nodded in fake comprehension.

  
  

   

  
  

  Is it tacky to drink every last drop of each tasting?  I saw others pouring out after each little sip.  I saw the bottom of my glass on each tasting. 

  
  

  

  
  

  Bob and the white guys actually know a thing or two about wine.  The gaysian just chug and ask for more.

  
  

   

  
  

  More vamping in the vineyards.  Todd is officially my new favorite paparazzi.  He frames, composes and times every shot with an artistic perfection.

  
  

   

  
  

  omg...a photo being taken without me!  Must. Get. In!

  
  

   

  
  

  bubbyMichael plays fetch with vineyard mascot, Shania.  He always manages to find a shady spot to sit no matter where he goes.  He'll find shade in a desert.

  
  

   

  
  

  ugh...enough with the pics, Todd!  At least give me 2 seconds to strike a proper pose. 

  
  

   

  
  

  BACK TO ECCE

  
  

  

  
  

  It's a 5-guest-room house, each with its own private bath.  A living room, a family room, a dining room, huge kitchen, indoor dining patio, and these awesome outdoor patios. 

  
  

  

  
  

  I could live out on this patio. 

  
  

   

  
  

  Taste and elegance are not a state of mind.  It's a state of gay.  Sucks to be straight.

  
  

   

  
  

  Ecce's hallways are an ersatz art gallery.

  
  

   

  
  

  Ecce's wonderful owners Alan & Kurt, who I've Brangelina'd them as "Kulan" (like a mongolian Disney warrior princess) or "Alurt".  I like the latter better, because Alurt is alert of every need of their guests.  Fresh flowers throughout the house are a beautiful touch. 

  
  

   

  
  

  Ecce's grounds serve as a sculpture garden of metalworks of art.

  
  

    

  
  

  More Ecce art.  While my camera is used to capture food as art, Todd's camera captures true art, like this ornate post that I would never think twice to photograph. 

  
  

   

  
  

  Todd sees art in the simplest things like shadows(left) and devil pentagrams(right).

  
  

   

  
  

  Floral beauty abounds here as well.

  
  

  

  
  

  A weekend at Ecce will have you appreciating things you're too distracted by everyday life to even notice.  Like the clouds that feel an arm's reach away from up here.

  
  

  

  
  

  Ecce...I see a butterfly.

  
  

  (Part 2 to come) 

  • 1:03 pm
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