September 8, 2008
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*90210*
Let's just call this for what it is: Welcome to the OC, bitch! - xoxo, Gossip Girls, bitches. GG's phenomenal success proved that there is a viable tv appetite for snotty teens with money, big city flash and fashion, witty pop-culture references, teens that drink and have sex, bitchy one-liners and just the word "bitch". Last Tues, the 2-hour premiere aired, and this weekend I finally had time to watch it. And guess what....it's not half bad! Let's review the premiere:
(Ethan, Naomi, rich grandma, Annie, Dixon, the mom, the youthful English teacher, Silver, gross dork)
THE GOOD: Firstly, the house is gorge! Extra points for putting the new family in the lap of grandma's luxury, rather than a modest slums-of-Beverly-Hills Walsh-house. All the ladies on the show are promising. Annie, in Brenda's original role is not bad. Quite good even. Annie is sweet, sincere, and totally believable as a new untainted moral core of the show. Naomi as the resident Naomi (as in Campbell), the Queen Bee(tch) of West Beverly High. The actress was ultra sultry and cunty as Eden on "Nip/Tuck" so I know she can play bad oh so good. Silver (let's call her Lindsay Lohan) playing multiple roles as West Bev's gossip blogirl, Kelly's younger sister, and Naomi's nemsis. Brava to the show for making room for sassy BevHills grandmas. Jessica Walter as the sharp-tongued grandma is a boozy inappropriate hoot. I love her cackle-worthy rudeness to the mom. Linda Gray as Ethan's grandma....hmmm....is Linda back to run MODEL'S INC??? Please god, make that happen!!! I'm not sure what to think of Adrianna yet. Nelly Furtado with a drug problem doesn't seem like a good fit on this show. And she's poor! Ewww.
THE BAD: A few things that aren't so great. Silver's meanblog is uninspired. Her bitter little cartoons are childishly weak, and reeks of desperation. She'll never be jasonbasin. The dad as the new principal. That's a little too precious and minister's-daughter. Well, at least it gives Rob Estes more screen time. Dixon as the adopted black son. Really? Did we need this? Are we to believe this went over well in Kansas?? For color correctness that the original 90210 lacked, couldn't we have just had a black guy or girl best friend at school? The black guy could've been the school-paper geek, and the black girl could've been a Gabrielle Union-esque cheerleader vixen with Brenda'ttitude?? That woulda been juicy!
THE UGLY: All the guys! What the fug? Where are the hot Cali guys?? All we have here are Ethan (yawn...I've seen better), George (the angry meathead...how boring), Navid (justgross). Not only are there no standout hotties on the show, but there aren't even truly lovable guys like Seth Cohen and Chuck Bass. The guys on this show need serious personality and casting makeovers. Here's the problem. On shows like this and Gossip Girls, the casting agents are women. Old straight women, with grandma tastes in young studs. What they need are gay men casting the guys on the show. It's plain and simple -- gays know gorgeous guys. Thank god for hottie dad/principal, Rob Estes. *swoon* Loved him on MELROSE as Kyle McBride. It's so good to see him back in LA. Now all I need him to do is divorce his wife, abandon his kids, and move back into Melrose Place with Amanda Woodward. Also, pluck Kimberly Shaw and Matt Fielding from "Desperate Housewives", Jake Hansen from "Swingtown", Alison Parker from "According to Jim", and JaneMancini/MichaelMancini/PeterBurns/JoReynolds from god-knows-where, and we have 2009's new MELROSE! (just'MELROSE'). I'm *salivating*...can you tell??
THE AWESOME: Kelly & Brenda!! Their little scene reuniting at the Peach Pit....I won't lie...I squealed like a giddy little pig. And when Kelly told Brenda "we should spend more time together", I shouted "YES we should" to the tv. I love their return to the zip code as much for my own nostalgia as for potential drama. The only thing that would make it better is a Dylan McKay sandwich. But I'll take what I can get. You know they're totally gonna love-triangle with the Jake Gyllenhaal-looking English teacher, and Brenda's bitchiness will manifest itself on tv once again (goddess-willing). Also, kudos for making the parents young, attractive, and more importantly, relevant. Sorry, Jim & Cindy Walsh...you were fine parents but we just weren't that into you. Sandy/Kirsten/JuJu on "The OC" taught us that parents can carry their own compelling storylines too, and it was reinforced by Rufus & Lily's romance on "Gossip Girls." Can't wait to see Naomi's mom come further in between the Wilsons, and Kelly's crack-sniffing mom make an appearance this week. And finally, the last bit of awesomeness is attributable to one missing ingredient: Donna. Tori Spelling leaving the cast over lower pay was a last minute blessing. Donna was always weak and bug-eyed-ugly, and the show is better off without it. Besides, that just saved us a special flashback episode centered around adult Donna, still trying to earn her HS diploma, in which the school protests the school board while chanting "DONNA MARTIN GRADUATES." *shudder*
Comments (8)
shannon doherty did not age well. Shes still got a mean mug
Haven't actually seen this, but I did pick up on two points: 1- Gossip Girl's ratings are actually really marginal and not a "success"; 2- Matt died (off-screen) in the final season of Melrose Place, so he unfortunately couldn't be back in a new Melrose.
@guyindkny - I totally forgot Matt died! Well, there's always the possibility of Matt's straight twin. Or they could do the next generation: Jo's baby, Austin, with Reed, whom she killed, that she was forced to give up for adoption after Reed's crazy parents kidnapped him. And Taylor's (Lisa Rinna) baby that she had with Michael Mancini.
@TamadaPeas - you're right...she wasn't looking so good. For starters, she needs a chin/neck lift. Her eyes are still lopsided. And she could drop a few lbs.
Sorry, I hadn't responded yet, because I haven't watched it. It's on my DVR though. I'll get around to it.
@CareyGLY - you're too kind Carey! I'd love to know your thoughts after you watch it, since you're the original Brenda of 90210.
@jasonbasin -
How do you know I'm not Kelly...or even Dylan??
Dear, we are on the tsame page....as per usual.
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