Watching last nite's 50th Grammy Awards, a lot of thoughts came into my head as the 3.5 hr show played on.  So I jotted these thoughts down as they came to me, because a few things really struck me as WOW! 

Wow, Tina Turner still looks really good!

Wow, Carrie Underwood is so incredibly lifeless and stiff when she sings.

Wow, I so don't care who is winning a lifetime achievement award tonite.

Wow, Beyonce's thighs are huge!  Seriously....like really huge!

Wow, I really hate Tom Hanks.  Wow, this man is so incredibly annoying and uncool. 

Wow, Rihanna is simply incapable of looking bad.  Not even when wearing a dress made of broom husks.  Her new haircut is tres chic.  Wow, she really makes Beyonce look like a beast. 

Wow, black people really like to sing together with 80 people on the stage. 

Wow, Cuba Gooding Jr, Jason Bateman, Tom Hanks, George Lopez.  W(ow)TF are they doing at the Grammys?

Wow, Kanye West is such a pompous little bitch.  While accepting an award, I couldn't tell if he was gonna start crying trying to talk about his late mother, or because the music kept trying to cut off his self-congratulatory speech. 

Wow, comedian George Lopez is one bitter race-obsessed mexican.  Wow, and his face is so burnt and crispy.

Wow, there are so many irrelevant people in the music industry.  Who are these people?

Wow, Stevie Wonder looks just like the Predator (as in Alien vs....).

Wow, Amy Winehouse really cleaned up nicely.  Perez Hilton is so gonna try to take credit for this.

Wow, how many times is Alicia Keys gonna sing?

Wow, Alicia Keys' "No One" is an awesome song!  Really, can she sing more please??

Wow, Kanye got served....by Vince Gill!  Country singer Vince Gill totally bitch-slapped Kanye by saying "I just had an award given to me by a Beatle.  Have you had that happen yet, Kanye?"  snaaaap! 

Wow, Aretha Franklin needs to stop wearing sleeveless tarps.  Her cottage cheese arms and back flab are absolutely vomitorious.

Wow, Beyonce looked like she was gonna bitch-murder Rihanna when a giddy Rihanna grabbed Jay-Z on her way to the stage to accept her Record of the Year award.  oh no you di-in't , Rihyonce!  (yes she did!)

Wow, I really miss Mariah.

Wow, why do I waste 3.5 hrs of my life watching this every year?

Wow, the album of the year winner is so....not Kanye!  kaka.  And Kanye can't do his "c'mon Grammys....give a black man a chance" hissy-fit, because the winner was black!   It was Herbie Hancock.  I know...WHO?!   JustNotKanye...that's who.  kaka.

Saturday nite, cousin Jennifer and I had a most exciting evening ahead, for which we needed proper fuel.  So we first met up at our new favorite spot, THE SMITH (3rd & 10th....or see the previous entry, lazy frocks) for a well balanced 3-course dinner.

 

Lunch at The Smith a few weeks ago was breezy and casual.  Dinner is a different story -- classy and candlelit, lively and sophisticated.  And that's just what Furfur and I were....two sophicates out on the town, adding beauty to the fug clientele.

 

And the beauty on our plates:  Salmon tartare with avocado creme fraiche.  I'm no fan of raw fish cuisine, but I can do tartare because it's yumyumme.  FurFur's ginormous grilled pork chop.  This was a monsterly delicious pork chop, laden with caramelized onions.

 

I had the pan-fried Skate wish, which I just love.  It had roasted cauliflower and a caper butter sauce.  Afterwards, a light dessert of "Bread Pudding"...2 scoops of chocolate chip ice cream, caramelized bananas, walnuts, bread and whipped cream.  This was died-and-gone-to-heaven delicious! 

Right after dinner, we skedaddled on over to Madison Square Garden for the night's main event: 

(in announcer voice)  The HILARIOUS  KAAATHY GRIFFFIIIIIIN!!!

I know I know....most of you just rolled your squinty judgmental eyes and groaned "ugh...I hate this woman", to
which I just rolled my squinty judgmental eyes and hissed "I hate you all."  I know I've lost most of you by this point.  But those of you with an open mind for comedy and/or
everlasting adoration of me -- you prudish fuckers owe it to me to hear me out
on this.  Kathy Griffin is....not Nicole Kidman.  Nor does she want to
be at this point in her career.  Instead, she has ingeniously crafted a glorious career of making
fun of the Kidmans.  Well, not her per se, but more hilariously, Brit &
Paris (not places in Europe), Barbara Walters, Barbra Streisand, the Osmonds, Dr.
Phil, Ryanna Shecrest, Paula Abdul, Clay Gaiken, Sharon Stone, Jesus and the Catholics, and Oprah!  Jesus and the Catholics had it coming.... but Oprah?!  I
mean, who dares mock the Big O??  Kathy not only tells it like it is, but she
tells it like she's seen it, and she tells it like we suspected all along about these stupid smug celebs.  We
suspect that Ryan Seacrest and Barbara Walters are cunts and
douchebags, respectively.  And like a strong black woman, Kathy ain't afraid to say it.  Her D-List persona is
perfect for ripping apart these A-listers thru her awkward encounters, down-to-earth intuition,
and catty confrontations, and by telling everybody they can suck it.   She is divinity to the gays and girls
who adore her, and she talks about stuff we all know about, so her stories are not hard to follow.  I nod till my head hurts and slap my leg to near-paralysis, agreeing with everything she says because I have all those same thoughts, and you do too!

Having said all that, Furfur and I are the biggest Kathy Griffin fans I know, and we wouldn't have it any other way.  Seeing her live at the theater at MSG, nestled amongst a safe pillow of her most rabid laughing gays and girls, was a dream come true!  Kathy has replaced Mariah as the celeb I'd most like to sit at dinner with.  She performed nearly 2 hours of new material, each bit of it pure sacrilegious gold.  She is our comedy Jesus, she is going straight to hell, and we're hot on her heels, cackling ungracefully.

Now take a few minutes and watch her latest Bravo comedy special  "KATHY GRIFFIN:  Straight to Hell"

Watch the rest Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5.  Tell me Kathy Griffin isn't absolutely  D-Listcious!

10 NEW THINGS I'M LOVING SO FAR IN 2008
January is usually a month of seasonal depression for me...mild but undeniable mid-winter depression, brought on post-holiday letdown, the unrelenting cold and scarce daylight, bad winter hair, and the general stagnation of things.  But this year, not so much.  WHY?  Positive distractions!  I started to mentally compile a list of things that have positively distracted me from impending new year gloom and doom.  And I don't mean feel-good things like OJ's legal problems, Britney's custody problems, or anyone's problems.  I'm talking the tangibles... actual good stuff that I listen to on my ipod, the stuff I watch curled up on the couch, the stuff I shovel down my mouth.  So step aside, Oprah...you're not the only media maven with her own list of favorite things!

10).  Tyson Beckford on Bravo's "Make Me a Supermodel" 
Nikki who??  The real star is Tyson!  He has so much attitude and a tad bitchiness.  Who knew??  And he's straight??  He's blunt, forceful, judgmental, and not afraid to strut in his undies to show the supermodel wannabes just how it's done.  Watch out Naomi.  There's a new dangerous black bitchy beauty on the catwalk.  Naomi Campbell + penis x Russell Crowe - violence = Tyson.

9).  Chris Brown's "With You"
I never thought I would enjoy a Chris Brown song.  Then again, I never thought he was capable of a sugary sweet pop song that sounds like "Irreplaceable."  Although, he still uses "boo" a lot...so the ghetto is still kinda there.

8).  The Smith, a new restaurant on 3rd Ave (between 10 & 11th).  Unassumingly black & white on the outside, The Smith occupies the old space of Pizzeria Uno's.  The interior is sleek downtown brasserie, without all the bourgeois.  And the food... for lunch, straightforward scrumptious sandwiches like the Roasted Chicken with chipotle mayo and avocado, and the BLT+E.  That's what cousin FurFur and I had when we discovered The Smith last week.  I'm dying to have the Potato Waffle w/ spinach & caramelized onions (served Saturdays only).  Their dinner menu looks mighty tantalizing as well.

7).  Dunkin Donuts Milky Way Hot Chocolate
Dunkin Donuts can do no wrong in my book, and that includes their latest cup of creamy sweet decadence.  I was in an elevator with a guy who was holding 2 Starbucks cups.   I lifted the lid of my aromatic Milky Way HC, and the guy's head literally whipped around to get a salivating whiff.  He looked down at his Starbucks and looked like he was about to cry.  I don't blame him.  Some salty tears could only make his lattes more interesting. 

6).  Michael Buble's "Lost" 
It's on par with his other one-word feel-gooder "Home."  There's something about Michael Buble that is familiar & lovable.  Is it his comforting old school voice or that I always think '(bubby)Michael Buble'?

5).  Vanessa's Dumplings 
I walked by this place on East 14th & 3rd Ave recently and saw dumplings in the window.  And like a good little dumpling, I walked towards the light and had me 10 fried ones (5 chive & pork; 5 cabbage & pork).  I was beyond full and satiated.  The price tag:  a whopping $4.  Vanessa's also does teriyaki dishes, sushi, noodle soups, and bubble tea!
 

4).  Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles
Bionic who??  I watched the first couple episodes expecting to roll at eyes at cheesy effects and a familiar one-note storyline.  Surprisingly, the show is quite thrilling and enjoyable, thanks mostly to Summer Glau taking on the Arnold role as John Connor's protector sent back from the future.  She's the real bionic woman.  The series takes over where T2 left off, and the bad terminators are fierce and unrelenting.  Catch up online.

3).  Maroon 5's "Won't Go Home Without You" 
It's on par with their infectious shrill hit "She Will Be Loved."  It's got the beat of "Every Breath You Take" and it's super catchy and singable. 

2).  East Boat Lobster House
A few weeks ago, Vanessa (unrelated to the dumplings place) introduced me to lobster heaven....at East Boat Lobster House on Kenmare St (bet Mott & Mulberry).  I describe it as a quaint City Island seafood joint in Little Italy run by chinese folk.  Me, Linda, Vanessa, and Monica met up for lobsterTalk and lobsterEat on a Tuesday nite.  For about $50, a seafood platter for 2 people included shark's fin soup, razor clams, deep fried soft-shelled crab, fried shrimp, cheesy scallops, a lobster any way, and fried rice (like I said, it's chinese owned).  There are numerous platter combinations.   The menu is wonderfully overwhelming and the portions huge.  It was a true salivatious experience.
   
   

1). Scrabulous on Facebook! 
Think long-distance Chess with a penpal...minus the stamps and cobwebs.  Scrabulous is the interactive Scrabble application available to play on Facebook.  Thanks to Vanessa (unrelated to dumplings, but related to lobster), I've been addicted to Scrabulous all month and play as much as I can -- at work, at home, in the shower (uh, that's where I plan my verbal strategies).  I have 8 active games with various Facebookies.  And even though I'm getting my ass kicked by seasoned veterans (Vanessa, Jimzy), college dorks (Lenore), and my Scabbattle arch enemy (Linder), I'm having a competitive blast winning and losing (mostly losing!).  I've traded critical work bore for Triple Word Scores.  It's the ultimate positive distraction in a fragile depressive month.  It's SCRABULOUS!

FIRST ENTRY OF 2008, delayed by a series of unfortunate events that have made 2008 a tad shiteous for me so far (having to do with ridiculousness at work, a bad hair month, a party failure).  I won't bore you with details, but I see you drooling over the chocolate fondue below, so I'll touch upon it briefly...

SUB-PAR(TY)
 
Shiteous '08 began with a shiteous New Year's Eve party.  There, I tsaid it!  I threw a crappy party in my own home!  As usual, for the 5th year in a row, bubbymichael and I hosted New Year's Eve in our home and extended the invitation to our usual 20-30 friends.  Every year we get a healthy rotation of friends dropping by, we feed them, we get them tipsy, we watch the ball drop, then hubby kicks them out at 12:01.  This year, the guest count was weak....just 12 or so, and most of them stayed for a quick drink/bite and rushed off to other parties or "dinners."  But at least we had our reliable core people -- Bennifer & P.diddy, Steven & Phyllis (Stephyllis).  The rest were transients, intransigents, Shreks & Fionas, resulting in a disruptive ebb & flow of party energy.  I do appreciate everyone for coming at all, but aside from that, I just wasn't feeling my party at all.  Neither was hubby.  At one point, he came into the kitchen (where I was hiding out at the sink keeping "busy") and said:  "our party su-ucks!"  and all I could tsay was "I KNOW!  What's wrong with us??"  Thank god we were both on the same party-failure page. We felt like strangers in our own house, throwing a seriously sub-par party.  It was tragic.

The highlight of the party -- the luscious dark chocolate fondue above -- I didn't even make this!  I started to but it went awry, and Bennifer had to save the fondue.  I burned a pot on the stop with charred chocolate, and Benny Crocker shoved me aside and took over with his fancy double-boiling technique.  Meddling little kitchen wench.  The fondue was heavenly, with strawberries, bananas, cake. 

However, we did the fondue rather late, and by the time we were all fondue'd out, I looked at the clock and it was 11:58pm!  I shrieked and started barking orders:  Honey, open the champage, NOW!  Hurry Hurry!  Grab a glass, everyone...grab a fucking glass of champage!  Someone pause the TV!  PAUSE IT!!!  That's when everyone started yelling at me:  You can't PAUSE New Year's, you stupid silly bitch.  But I did just that.  This stupid silly bitch paused New Year's at 11:59:50, ordered everyone to gather around with drink in hand, and then we counted down.  Yes folks, my New Years Eve....it was like dat.

 

XMAS EatVE
  

CHRISTMAS went smoother the week prior, as we spent it with my family in Queens.  Xmas eve we had family dinner at my brother's apt.  Yud and Rosa cooked up a storm, and mom & dad ordered up a storm....
 

of sushi!  Dad gets these amazing sushi/sashimi/rolls platters at his friend's Brooklyn japanese restaurant.  This platter: a steal at $40 or $50.  Plus a side of spicy tuna rolls. 

Rosa and Yud cooked for us for the first time.  Rosa's babyback ribs were just divine (and plentiful), and Yud's ribeye steak was wonderful!

 

Mom couldn't come without making something, so she did her rice noodles.  Buddie salivates on the dinner table.

Trying to find dessert on xmas eve was like trying to find a virgin at Catholic School... the only ones I could find were filled with creme.  Uh, I mean dessert, not the virgins, sickos.  After numerous failed attempts to snag a cake, a pie, or a tart at 3 local patisseries, I went straight for Beard Papa's at Astor Place.  Those robotic japanese pastry girls work tirelessly and soullessly on xmas eve so that family could enjoy these highly satisfying treats. 

It's what Christmas is really all about -- gifts and posing.  Look at the star on Michael's head.  cute!  We all got what we really wanted.  I got a much needed 3-pairs of Brookstone heavenly soft socks.  Michael got 'The Simpsons Movie' DVD.  Rosa got some dangly glass candly thingys from CB2.  Yud got a Dunder Mifflin t-shirt  because he just became a world's best boss (watch out Michael Scott).

  

me with hubbub, me with cousin furfur.  Furfur got her, um, favorite movie of 2007 -- 'High School Musical 2'.  kaka!
 
 

Naturally, xmas eve dinner turned into a Wii party....just like Jesus intended.  Rosa's mom was all over the Wii.  Dad got in on it for the first time and loved it.

 

The best gift our family got this year was this little fluffy fella.  Buddie has just been such a bundle of joy and no one can resist him.  6 months old, and he still does not bark.  He is the PERFECT pooch!

 

CHRISTdimsuMAS DAY

XMAS DAY was dimsum in Flushing with the family.  While white families woke up Dec.25 moving opening presents, we opened our mouths....

....to shrimp in rice noodle, pan fried noodle with pork & mushroom

lions and tigers and bubbybears....shumai!

One of my absolute FAVORITE things in the whole world!  Fried tofu cubes with shrimp on top.  Drenched with soy sauce, I can eat 100 of these in one sitting.  LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!!  Dimsum with the family in Flushing was fun.  I haven't done it in years, and I think we just cooked up a new holiday tradition.

ROOMSERVICE (Reprise)

And before the whirlwind eating of xmas and the tragedy of our NYEve
party, our favorite long distance friend came to town.  Not Santa
Claus, but  the same shape and merriment....our dear friend Scott from
Seattle visited and spent a few days with us.  First order of
business....take him to Roomservice Thai where I celebrated my 30th
just 2 months prior. 

 

Crispy shrimp roll and spring rolls.  Little bites of heaven.

 

Crispy tofu squares (think smelly tofu minus the smelly).  Chive pancakes that were even better than the nite of my party.

 

Spicy lemongrass shrimp soup, and clear broth vegetable soup...both wonderful.

 

Pineapple fried rice, and pad thai 2 ways, with chicken and shrimp.

Duck breast with a sweet tamarind sauce.  Ducking delicious!

Finally, a sweet mild red curry with chicken, bamboo shoots, basil, peppers, etc.....spooned over fragrant coconut rice. 

 

P.diddy, Bennifer, bubbybear, Seattle Scott, me.  Scott is a perfect example of a longstanding long distance solid friend.  We like him better than a lot of our local friends.  did i say that out loud?

 

For dessert, the hostess treated us to a pumpkin pudding.  She also treated us to a bottle of Reisling, plum wine, and chive pancakes.  And on top of that, she took 15% off our bill.  All this because I brought her 24 new adoring patrons a few months ago. 

 

Coconut pudding and fried bananas with rice cream followed.  The perfect ending to a perfect meal.  Just as the first time, this meal was divine.  We were all in thai heaven.  I felt like I died and turned 30 all over again.  I truly LOVE this place.  I was so relieved this meal lived up to our hype for Scott.  He'll go
back to Seattle and tell tales of a magical feast he had in
NYC....better than a Candy Mountain, better than a magical leopluradon, Chaaarlie.  And he will shun the non-believers.  shuuun-nah.

 jasonbasin's BLOGalicious BLOGavicious BLOGlorious
*BEST&WORSTof2007*

Here we go again on this year-end roundup of all things bitchyBest & witchyWorst in entertainment, pop culture, the world, and of course, my life of blogworthy  fabulocity.  I have painstakingly compiled my list with 100% of my own thought & opinion, and free of any influence from Best Year Ever, Entertainment Weekly's Best of 2007, Perez Hilton on VH1, etc.   Some of you have salivated all year for this (I don't blame you), while others are discovering it for the first time.  Trust me...you won't be bitchappointed.  Let's get it on!

Best Media Circus
The SEX & THE CITY MOVIE shooting throughout NYC.  The media attention was rabid, as every AccessInsiderEntertainmentHollywoodTonightTMZ and every girl and gay blogger infiltrated the Manhattan street sets and posted galores of on-location pics.  Sure, the downside of it all is that crucial plot points are seemingly revealed, like Carrie in a wedding dress attacking Big with a bouquet.  But like any of that is gonna stop every girl and gay from camping out at the theatres.  Witness the gorgeous lights, cameras, SATC action:
  

Worst Media Circus
PARIS GOES TOO PRISON garnered copious media attention, not only from the usual tabloid sources, but also from CNN, MSNBC, FoxNews, the AP.  They all covered this shit like a presidential assassination, when in fact, it was Paris' ingenious assassination of media credibility. 

Best Celeb Trend
TEEN PREGNANCY.  Jamie Lynn Spears is single-vaginally bringing prom-mom-chic back to the mainstream, and I approve!  The horror exhibited by this preachy sanctimonious nation of ours is quite amusing, as news and entertainment bobbleheads follow up their reports with imperious commentary on the dangers of underage sex, and how to talk to your children about Jamie Lynn's shituation.  NEWSFLASH fuckwads:  teens are having sex at 12 years old.  Jamie Lynn was the only idiot to get caught barefoot and pregnant.

Worst Celeb Trend
DENYING YOUR PREGNANCY.  That's right, christinajennifernicoleaguileralopezrichie, I'm talking to you!  Not only did we not care about the rumors of their pregnancies, but they prolonged our not caring by not admitting to it until they could hide their bumps no longer.  And didn't we already establish that 2005 was the official year of the celebaby?  How unfashionable in '07.

Best Relationship

THE BECKHAMS.  They are so perfect and pretty, it's disgusting.  They can do no wrong.  And by "they", I mostly mean HIM.  

Worst Relationshit

HEIDI & SPENCER on 'The Hills'

Best Blond Tragedy
ANNA NICOLE's tragic death. It was 'Best' in that it made us care and even shed a bit of a tear. Or at least I did. I really liked her, and my heart truly ached a bit when this happened.  More on this in a bit...

Worst Blond Tragedy
Be Right back as I ThiNk of somEthing funnY.

Best Feud
Lauren vs. Heidi/Spencer on "The Hills."  The eventual sit-down showdown between LC and Heidi engendered the best line in 2007 TV.
LC to Heidi:  "I want to forgive you...and I want to FORGET YOU."   snaaap!!

Worst Feud

Kanye West vs. 50 Cent.  The dispute: record sales.  The result: like we cared??!
(ps - I think Kanye's standing on a chair above).

Best Unexpected Turn of Events
OJ ARRESTED!  KAKAKA!!  *gush*  In a way, we expected it was only a matter of time before this happened.  Nonetheless, this was truly heartwarming.

Worst Unexpected Turn of Events

ANNA NICOLE's death.  In a way, we expected it was only a matter of time before this happened.  Nonetheless, this was truly heartbreaking.

Best Vocal Vengeance by an American Idol
CARRIE UNDERWOOD's Louisville-slugger "Before He Cheats".  It was criminal in a sassy way.  She goes all vixeny-violent here and she's never sounded or looked better.

Worst Vocal Vengeance by an American Idol
KELLY CLARKSON's joyless downer "Never Again".  It's criminal in a Ghost Whisperer way.  Maybe that corpse Clive Davis was right...leave the songwriting to professionals, Kelly.  We want "Breakway", not "break every bone in his body".

Best New TV Show

PUSHING DAISIES.  I know I touted "Dirty Sexy Money" as the best new show after the first episode.  I retract that.  While DSM is still good, it's Pushing Daisies that gets me feeling all sorts of mood-enhanced goodness...not just the really-craving-pie kind of goodness.  Each character is alive with spunk and likability, and I really love the dog's name 'Digby'.

Worst TV Show Downward Spiral
3. 24  -- Last season was repetitive, awkwardly paced, and inconsequential.  Next season, Jack needs to either hunt down Osama, stop the assassination of Obama, or tell dry jokes to muslim terrorists that begin with "Yo mama..."
2. NIP/TUCK -- moving to LA was a mistake.  A really boring mistake.  The Carver needs to return, and kill the writers.
1. HEROES -- Hiro in feudal Japan.  Amnesiac Peter.  Sylar with no powers.  Nathan and that beard.  Season 2 wasted time and tested our patience.  Stop saving the good storylines and start saving the show.

Best New America's Sweetheart

KATHERINE HEIGL.  This was SO her year.  From winning an Emmy to rocking the red carpet to the universally-loved "Knocked Up" to "27 Dresses" to a new marriage, she has stolen the sweetheart crown from...

Worst Former America's Sweetheart
REESE WITHERSPOON.  This was SO not her year.  Her divorce from Ryan Philippe finalized, Ryan revealed his suicidal divorce depression which made her look like a heartless monster, her "Rendition" tanked (under $5 mil opening weekend) reinforcing the recent-Oscar-winning-actress curse, and America sent her a loud and clear message that all we want from her is Legally Blond 3 (and 4 and 5). 

Best New Pet

BUDDIE, my brother & Rosa's little bundle of shih-tzu joy (my nephew).  Everyone just loves Buddie!   

Worst Old Pet
The dogs in my office.  My bosses' hideous dogs remain the most despicable creatures in my life.  

Best Meal
BUBBA GUMP, Gatlinburg!  Our meal in Tennessee this summer was astoundingly good, and we have been preaching the holiness of Bubba Gump to anyone with a taste bud. 

From the Seafood Hush Puppies (filled with shrimp, corn, mahi-mahi) to the Peel 'n Eat Scampi Shrimp to...

...Shrimp Stuffed with Crabmeat in a lemon butter sauce to the Bourbon Mahi-Mahi to the wondrous Blueberry Lemonade.  Everything was sublime!        

Worst Meal
As if.

Best Tabloid Resilience

KATIE HOLMES.  2007 was actually a pretty good year for her.  She managed to divert attention away from her freak of a husband, and instead made tabloid headlines with her wise apprenticeship under Victoria Beckham, her new fashion sense and bob haircut, her mothering of adorable Suri, and her NYC marathon achievement.  Tabloid hounds are no longer feeling sorry for her.  Instead they're feeling sorry for...

Worst Tabloid Resilience
EVA LONGORIA & Tony Parker.  Not 6 months after their July wedding, did rumors about Tony having an affair start to circulate.  That's just shameful, regardless of its veracity.  Eva and Tony have been of no value whatsoever to the tabloids ever since the climax of their summer wedding, and so it's only natural that the rumor mill will start picking on them out of sheer boredom.  Tip to Eva:  start making your own news.  Have a baby.  Adopt an African baby.  Run a marathon.  Slap Teri Hatcher.  something.  anything. 

Best Speech
ALEC BALDWIN's inspirational words to his daughter, Ireland: 
"I've made an ass of myself… You have insulted me for the last time! You don't have the brains or the decency as a human being… I don't give a damn that you're 12 years old or 11 year old, or a child, or that your mother is a thoughtless pain in the ass… you've made me feel like shit and you've made me feel like a fool… I'm gonna straighten your ass out when I see you, do you understand me?… You are a rude thoughtless little pig!"
(A tidbit right now:  This speech is exactly what I imagine mine would be, if I were ever to get in touch with my ex-unstylishgal-friend who feloniously stalked Linda in 2004.  Well...that last line anyway). 

Worst Speech, Such as...

Best Diva in a Naomi-less Year
VICTORIA BECKHAM.  In a year without (much) Naomi Campbell attacks, we look to another sexy-sassy exotic-looking attention grabber that can seemingly do no wrong in stilettos and an English accent.  Posh turns heads with not just her hubby.  She does it with her hair, her impossible skinniness, her perky boobs, her endearing accent, her "Coming to America" tv special, her puppet-mastery of Katie Holmes, and her Spice Girls reunion.  All this, and not a single cellphone hurled at a maid in a fit of unprovoked rage. 

Best Diva in a Mariah-less Year
CELINE DION.  I was all prepared to scoff at her studio-album comeback.  At first "Taking Chances" was weak and bland to me.  I rolled my eyes at every recent mention of her name.  Then I saw her lip-sync the song everywhere -- on The View, Amercian Music Awards, Rockefeller Tree Lighting, World Music Awards -- and I thought:  this skinny bitch can still sing!  Plus, she belted a cover of Heart's "Alone" on her new album.  I mean, who does that?!  Not even Carrie Underwood attempted it for her album, even after her amazing live version on Idol.  Even in 2007, Celine is a still pro, a vocal powerhouse, and a true diva. 

Worst Diva
KANYE WEST.  Sure, we were all guilty of singing "...I'm the boss tonite, you could be my black Kate Moss tonite..." whenever "Stronger" played on the radio, but there was no bigger musical crybaby diva-bitch this year.  His MTV VMA's diva rant of "c'mon MTV...give a black man a chance" (when he didn't win any big awards and was reduced to a secondary stage performance) was utterly bitchslapworthy.  You know 50 Cent, Jay-Z, Timbaland and TI all sit together over beers and refer to Kanye as "that whiny little bitch".

Best Mess

Worst Mess

Best Reality Competition Judging
PROJECT RUNWAY: Heidi Klum; Michael Kors; Nina Garcia. The perfect blend of bitchy, entertaining, and relevant (like my blog), P.Runway's primary judging trifecta always delivers insightful and incisive commentary that often makes me KAKA.

Runner-up: TOP CHEF.  I hang on their every word.  Food talk does that to me.  shocker.

Worst Reality Competition Judging
AMERICAN IDOL.  After so many seasons, Simon, Randy, and the clapping seal are tiresome. Whether it's "dawg, it was a little pitchy to me", "that was absolutely dreadful", or "you have a beautiful smile, my dear"....we've heard it all before.  We'll continue to hear it all again.  

Best Print Ad

DAVID BECKHAM's ad for....  um, what is this ad for?  CK?  2Xist?  Hollywood Tans?  WHO CARES!  Look at him!  Jeez.  um, where was I?  

Worst Print Ad

I'm going to self-flagellate for this later on in private, but for now I must declare (my beloved) Mariah's perfume ad as the worst.  She looks like a corpse here and all I smell is formaldehyde.  The near nudity is not necessary...target women buyers, not horny men and necrophiliacs.  Plus, the release of her perfume did not strategically piggyback off a new album or anything.  That's just bad marketing. 

Best Lesbian Achievement
NONE.  Absolutely none.  Dykes contributed nothing to society this year. Amelie Mauresmo won nothing in tennis. Rosie O'Donnell left 'The View' in infamy and was verbally raped (I just threw up a little in my mouth) by the Donald.  Portia de Rossi is boring on Nip/Tuck.  Jodie Foster still hasn't come out.  And Clay Aiken's music was nonexistent on the charts.  Bad lesbs!

Worst Lesbian Meltdown

ELLEN on her talkshow, crying over her dog adoption "scandal"  A kid's dog was taken away because Ellen botched the proper adoption procedure.  Or something retarded like that.  Boo-dyking-hoo, Ellen....get over it.  You're effing rich.  Buy the kid 100 dogs.

Best Futile Resistance
JOINING FACEBOOK.  I'm hooked.  Need I tsay more?

Worst Futile Resistance
The Hollywood WRITER'S STRIKE.  Get back to work, peasants!  Give them what they want, corporate fuckers!  I need my shows back.   

Best FunnyPerson

KATHY GRIFFIN.  I LOVE HER.  K.Griff had a fab year, thanks to her gays.  Next month, cousin Jennifer and I are going to see her show live!  Allegedly.

Worst Unfunny Person

This loser on 'Best Week Ever'

Best Blatant Piggybacking on Rihanna's "Umbrella"
MANDY MOORE doing her own acoustic version.  It's subdued and sublime.

Worst Blatant Piggybacking on Rihanna's "Umbrella"
Chris Brown's remix that interlaced Rihanna's vocals with his own "you could be my Cinderella...ella...ella...ella...."  Fucking shameless and gross. 

Best Achievement in Gay
GAYS ON TV.  Wisteria Lane got its token gay neighbors (one hot, one not).  Oscar on 'The Office' overcame the gay witch hunt and is hilariously subversive.  Todd wins 'Survivor China'.  Marc on 'Ugly Betty' is what every office bitch (including me) aspires to be.  Bravo TV is unstoppable.  Isaiah Washington is fired from 'Greys'.  The only blemish on the gay entertainment scorecard:  'I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry'.

Worst Achievement in Gay
See Lesbian categories above.

Best Intended Bitch

WILHELMINA Slater on 'Ugly Betty'.  She had the best lines of the year:
"N!  I don't have the energy to say NO anymore." 
"Come on Betty, I'm black, you're mexican...let's stop beating around the bush like two dull white people."
"I'm Wilhelmina Slater, I don't get wet."  (as she slammed Betty White's hands in a cab door after stealing her taxi).

Worst Intended Bitches
The cast of GOSSIP GIRL.  Not enough bitchiness for me.  And frankly, not enough gossip either.  This show is barely getting by for me, especially when I'm currently enjoying DVDs of the immensely satisfying 1999-2000 WB show "POPULAR".  Now THAT was a salaciously sassy bitchy show.   Take some lessons, GG...thank you.

Best Unintended Bitch
CARRIE UNDERWOOD, KINDA BITCHY.  At first I had Carrie down as a Worst New Bitch, based on several reports that the country star is now a diva and kinda bitchy in person.  I've heard this from radio DJ's, as well as from Linda who ran into her at the Soho Grand hotel where Carrie, upon being recognized, practically rolled her eyes and gave a look of annoyance.  Anyway, then I decided:  you go girl!  Carrie got super skinny this year and her music skyrocketed into the mainstream with "Before He Cheats".  She is more gorgeous than ever and can practically do no wrong, musically.  I don't blame her for developing a bit of bitchy self-confidence and Carrie Under'tude. 

Worst Unintended Bitches
FAT PEOPLE WITH ATTITUDE.  This year I saw several cases of FAT'TITUDE, and I was dismayed.  One nite, Linda and I were at Sushi Samba (Park Ave South) enjoying our lobster sushi, beef carpaccio and chilean sea bass, when this skinny girl and her fat white friend get seated next to us.  Our tables were pretty close to one another, so Linda politely moved her Chanel bag (black with the big white C's) so fattie could "slide" past our table to the banquette.  Right when the cow sits and notices Linda's bag, she snottily and loudly says to her friend something about how she just got a Louis Vuitton bag, as if directed at us.  wtf?  That was necessary, pig??  Throughout the course of the meal, shamu talks loudly and obnoxiously while her skinny pretty friend is barely audible and clearly embarrassed by her vocal BFF (Big Fat Friend).  We shook our heads in udder disbelief that this man-made island possessed such unabashed FAT'titude.  Did big mama not get the memo that she was fat and that her sole role in life is to be a pleasant chunky delightful sidekick to her skinny pretty friends??  (Second case in point:  Perez Hilton on VH1.  grossness.)

Best Costume

J.LOBSTER.  My Halloween lobster suit was succulent and clever, if I do tsay so myself.  

Worst Costume
 
They tried to fix my teeth/hair/makeup in rehab, I said no no no...

Best Songs
10. IDOLS w/ One Word Titles:  Chris Daughtry Home, Kimberly Locke Change, Jordin Sparks Tattoo

9.  Peter Bjorn & John:  Young Folks

8.  J.Lo:  Do It Well

7.  Good Charlotte:  I Don't Wanna Be In Love

6.  The Killers:  Read My Mind

5.  Augustana:  Boston

4.  A Fine Frenzy:  Almost Lover

3.  Alicia Keys:  No One

2.  One Republic:  Apologize

1.  Rihanna:  Umbrella

Worst Song
Soulja Boy ...it's jiggaboo gibberish at its ear-bleeding worst.  Let's quickly move on.

Best New Artist

ONE REPUBLIC.  Don't let the "Timbaland featuring One Republic..." thing fool you.  The music is all One Republic.  Timbaland is just giving them the publicity boost they need and the occasional vocal "eh...eh...eh."  And why not?  Is there anyone who doesn't love "Apologize"??  It was one of the year's best songs, and elevated any slow-e-motion-al TV show scene like on Gossip Girl, The Hills, etc.  Check out their next soon-to-be hit:  Stop & Stare.

Best Movie


300 & BEOWULF.  I LIVE for movies like these.  I am a true sucker for special effects and grand scale action and cinematography.  300/BEOWULF's imagery was astoundingly vivid and enthralling, and unlike anything we've seen before.  And I'm not gonna lie...all that male near-nudity swayed my decision. 

Honorable mention:  THE SIMPSONS MOVIE. 

Worst Movie
TRANSFORMERS.  It pains me to pick this, because it was a childhood fave and I really really wanted to love it.  But alas, it was just kinda sorta a'ight.  I still can't get over that one ridiculous annoying scene:  When all the Autobots are all in Shia LeBouf's backyard making all that noise and knocking everything over, his idiot parents look out the window and don't hear or suspect a thing.  It was a 10-minute slapstick scene that just killed the movie for me.  I wanted to walk out.

Best New Friends
Every year for us, a new friend or couple always emerges as our top new friends of the year.  This year, it's STEVEN & PHYLLIS, our wonderful Bayonne friends, who in the span of a year, have racked up more hours and miles spent with me and Michael than probably any other set of friends.  We've dimsum a dozen times, seen a dozen movies, went for sushi a dozen times, and spent several joke-filled hours daytripping to Monticello and Asbury Park.  We've only been friends for a year, but we already like them better than some friends we've known for much longer.  Oops, did I say that out loud?

Best New Friend, Xanga-Related

Last year, wehoRoy and I transcended our mutual xanga admiration and became true BBFFs (bitchybestfriendsforever) thru daily IM chats and the logical notion that we were most likely separated at birth.  Well this year, something similarly wonderful happened...with VanessaO_o.  After years of xangacquaintance, VANESSA and I finally met face to face at my birthday party, and we've bonded over IM and lobstertalk.  In 2008, we eat our words...literally.  We're meeting up for lobster.

Worst Friend
AUDRINA, Lauren's weak roommate and boring "best friend" on The Hills.  With friends like Audrina, who needs....(YAWN, I'm too disinterested in her to complete the thought).  Audrina is the biggest bore on tv.  Not only has she never uttered one quotable line on the show (Whitney, I worship you!), but Audrina sucks the life out of every scene she's in.  Her relationshit with JustinBobby was pathetic.  Makes me wanna burp in her face. 

Best Parties
Wii PARTiiS.  This year has seen just about everyone go the way of the Wii.  First my cousin & brother had it.  I played theirs and then we got it.  Bennifer & P.diddy played ours and they got it.  Keith played theirs and he go it.  Linda & Bao played ours and they got it.  And then I discovered Liz & Dexter, Grace & Will, Kurt & Glenn all have it.  Half of the xanga community have it and blog about it.  Now Leslie & Michael want it.  Who are these people you ask?  Doesn't matter....go get a Wii!

Honorable mention:  my Boatworks Block Parties (Sizzling Summer Fiesta and Blocktoberfest) were smashing successes.

Worst Parties
PITY PARTIES.  We all have problems in our lives.  Life is not always hunky-dory for everyone, but nobody likes a Debbie Downer.  Life is short, life is unpredictable, and life will humble you at every turn.  It's up to us whether to wallow in self-sorrow or do something to make things better.  This is not directed at anyone in particular nor is it a reference to any party I've been to, god forbid.  It's just a worthwhile thought for all of us, going forward. 

Best, Simply the Best
THE HILLS

Worst, Just the Worst
If your last name is SPEARS or LOHAN, you defied categories this year and are just truly the WORST.  

Best Xanga Behavior
STICKING WITH IT!  2007 saw the blogging departures of many xanga veterans.  I have to admit, at times I too feel like hanging up my typing apron and bidding farewell to lead a blog-less private existence.  But something keeps me here, something keeps me typing and posting and sharing, irregardless of eprops or comments.  Not sure what that something is -- my appetite, my sense of duty, my need to vent and present?  I'd go with D). All of the above, and I'm gonna stick with it.

Worst Xanga Behavior
TAKING COMFORT IN YOUR ANONYMITY.  I love how I get visitors(stalkers) to my site whom I've never met, much less exchanged a xanga comment.  Visitors(stalkers) who read(stalk) me practically everyday, who ogle(stalk) every picture I post, and savor(stalk) my every word I write.  It's really flattering(skeevy) and amusing(mildly annoying).  But what truly flatters and amuses me is how I can see everyone's habitual(stalking) activity on my 3 different site meters & site trackers, and how I've sized up each reader(stalker) and made cursory judgments about them based on web stats, stereotypes, etc.  For instance, there's the reader whose IP address is 207.xx.xxx and does a xanga search for "jasonbasin" every day or so.  And the one whose IP is 69.231.xxx.xx and clicks on me via the Gaysian blogring.  And the folks who google search "jason basin" "jason basin xanga" "jason basin bayonne" religiously.  And it's ok that I've never gotten so much as an "LOL" comment from this person, this person, this person, this person, this person, this person, this person, this person, this person, this person, or this person.  I'm just happy(smug) and honored(self-righteous) to have such avid jasonbasin readers(hardcore stalkers).

Best Personal Cathartic Moment

TURNING 30 THIS YEAR.  Most of my friends are 28 or 29, and when they ask me how it feels to be 30, my first instinct is to stab them in the neck.  My second instinct is to retract the knife and calmly explain that it feels no different than my late 20's, except now I feel more like an adult.  I feel like I deserve to be treated like an adult, as I can no longer hide behind the reckless guise of the experimental 20's.  My life is what I've made of it, and now is time to continue solidifying and enhancing it.  The 20's are a time for figuring things out and trying out new things.  The 30's are a time to make good on your choices.  So to all of you hovering around 28, 29...don't be afraid embrace 30.  (unless you're morbidly ugly or fat....it only gets worse for you).

Worst Personal Cathartic Moment

TURNING 30 THIS YEAR.  Back in 2003 when I first started xanga'ing at the ripe young invincible age of 26, I scoffed at anyone on xanga over 30, and I made a mental note not to be "one of those pathetic old people blogging".  But look at me now.  30 years and 2 months...pathetic, old, and blogging.  But not really.  I'm gorgeous, I'm skinny, I'm youthful and spirited, I have a fabulous life, I'm adored the world over, and I just wrote the best blog you've read all year!

That said....

HAPPY NEW YEAR, gays & girls! 
And leave a comment or end up on next year's Worst list, stalk(fuck)ers!

For the 3rd consecutive year, Linda has pulled me along by the hair (not that I minded at all) to attend her company's holiday party.  It's always a big deal and it's always unabashedly grand and exquisite.  2005 was at Gotham Hall.  2006 was at the Hayden Planetarium.  This year, at Cipriani 42nd Street.  Swankay!

 

I sauntered right in and handed my coat to the coat-check army, who were all lined up right inside to greet you and take your coat, valet style.  It was wonderful!

 

 

The place was truly truly grand with the columns, archways and 50-ft ceilings.  The place was done up nicely -- large projected snowflakes, loud thumping music and hundreds of yuppies.  But I've been here before, earlier this year for the Rock & Republic Fashion Week runway show. 

 

Linder looked luscious as always.  My hair was atrocious. 

Linda's office mates, Steve & Cameron, making catty comments at girls.  Typical.

 

The fabulous (and intimidating) sister Adrianna was Linda's date.  I told Adrianna "dear, you look great....although your outfit could use a little jewelry".  Then my life flashed before my eyes. 

 

The only food course I managed to snap on photo was dessert.  The cocktail and dinner hours were just way too overwhelming and demanding for me to pussyfoot with pictures.  I mean, I needed all 2 hands.  But dessert was more relaxed because I was full to the point of explosion.  My first plate of dessert had fruit custard tart, cheesecake, and angel food cake with whipped cream.  My second plate was a molten chocolate cake with vanilla frozen yogurt.

 

At 8pm, the entertainment portion of the evening took the stage.  BLUE MAN GROUP!

 

3 Blue boys performed about 30 mins of schtick that made us hehe, haha, ooh, and ahh.  Then they mingled with the crowd. 

 

Steve here, of dick-in-a-box fame at Linda's Halloween.

The party was so grandiose that NEW YORK MAGAZINE reviewed it.  Read the New York Magazine review.

F.A.O.

 

A few weeks ago, Linda's company had a pre-holiday party at FAO Schwarz, which her company owns.  I'm told this wasn't a holiday thing, but hey, any event that wants to feed me insane amounts of gourmet food and open bar...it's Christmas to me! 

me with sisters Lenore & Lenore.  Little Lenore is growing up so beautifully.  We went up to the open bar and asked for apple juice boxes.  This was a kid/family-friendly event after all.

 

 

This robot was rolling around talking to everyone.  It was pretty amazing.  At one point, it stopped to talk to us, saying really insightful things.  Then it started talking to me and I talked back.  I was incredulous!  I was so amazed and kept asking if there was a midget trapped inside.  No there was no midget, but rather, and old man with a microphone standing amongst the crowd, making fools of us.  Ok, of me. 

 

Gorgeous family of 4:  $599 

Band of white-collar misfits:  Priceless

 

The food was plentiful and varied.  Tender beef with mashed potatoes, a dim sum station,...

 

a kiddie-food station, with mac & cheese.  This mac & cheese was god-awful.  It was Kraft, I could taste it.

 

The chicken fingers and mini-cheeseburgers wiped out the horrible memory of the mac & cheese.

 

Naturally, the store was closed to the public.  So we got to roam the store.  Each guest was allowed one lb. of candy, and naturally, we all went hog wild.

 

Every stuffed animal reminded Linda of someone -- the monkey was her hubby Bao; the livestock was her xanga stalker.

 

Dessert hour in the world's biggest toy store was a madhouse.  Everything was exquisite, from all the mini-cupcakes, eclairs, napoleons, tarts, and pie to the make-your-own-sundae station to the hot chocolate station. 

 

I had a simple berry cobbler with vanilla....and a plate of everything else.

 FAObulous!

Every year around the holidays, Linda invites her closest couples over for a special cooked dinner.  We didn't go last year because she lived in L.I. and we like to pretend last year never happened.  But now that she's back on the Upper East, we came UP(PER) and fEASTed.

 

A gorgeous table setting for 12 on her fine wedding china.  I was responsible for 2 of those settings, thus ensuring my place at her table for years to come.  And when Monica, er, Linda, breaks out the fine china, everyone is nervous and on their best dinner guest behavior. 

Perfectly portioned plate.  There were seconds (and thirds), naturally.  Linda prepared a tenderly roasted beef, with a wonderful delicate gravy. 

 

Fluffy mashed potatoes, perfectly blended in her KitchenAid mixer.  Steamed garlic broccolini rounds out the meal.

 

Linda's keeps only the prettiest and piggiest gal pals -- me, Liz, Leslie, Grace.  It's a wonder we can all get guys to love us.  But bubbyMichael, Dexter, Michael, and Will, respectively, do. 

 

Lovely Liz by the tree, a far cry from the terrifying LizWolf from Halloween.  *shudder*

 

BaoLinder & the Tsaychockis.

 

And just like any other in-home dinner party in 2007, this one unintentionally turned into a Wii party.  Linda & Bao most recently joined the ranks of Wii owners, and have been doing their part to spread the Wii fever.  Half of the guests already know the joys of Wii, and the other half are now dying to get one.

In Wii boxing, it seems girls rule.  Grace creamed Will time after time.  Leslie showed no love to Michael.  Eunhee was not outdone by Ethan.  Linda mopped the bloody floor with Bao's blood.  But it was sweet little Liz that K.O.'d us all when she announced that she had to leave the party early to attend another party....to watch the Championship Boxing Match on HBO at someone's house.  wtf!?

Everyone should, at some point during their miserable job existence, announce to bosses and coworkers that you're taking a few December weekdays off to frolic in Atlantic City, and enjoy your bosslady's priceless reaction when she fakely tells you "oh, have fun" while you catch her in a brief but contemplative moment of "damn I wish I could run off to AC for a few days but I'm enslavened to a screaming 3-yr old brat at home...oh I hate my life" all captured in a 3-second woeful look on her face.  Anyway, that's what I did last week, as I took a Tues/Wed/Thurs respite from wretched work, and bubbyMichael and I ran off to the posh BORGATA.  Or as I fondly call it, the Whoregata...because you can't help feeling like a spoiled decadent whore here in Sin City east, Atlantic Slutty.

The Borgata is simply gorge.  A touch of Vegas splendor in the seedy swamps of AC, built boldly and egregiously away from the Boardwalk.  Borgata is from the same group responsible for Bellagio and Mandalay Bay.

 

I've been salivating over the Borgata ever since it opened in 2003.  I got to party there last year for my brother's bachelor party weekend, and now, Tsay stays there!

 

The room was lovely -- contemporarily classy and clean.  Upon settling in, we did our "yay hotel" happy dance.  (shut up -- you do that dance too!)

 

I love that we live in a world where at check-in, when the lady says "I see we have you down for one bed...will you gentlemen be needing 2 beds?", and then you reply "nope...just one is fine", and you're not shot back an immediate look of confusion/disgust/horror.  Sure, it's possible she internalized the confusion/disgust/horror, or she thinks one of us is sleeping on the floor, but at least she was cool in our presence.

 

The sunset view of the Boardwalk hotels, the Atlantic Ocean, and the sun setting over the NJ horizon.

 

I appreciated that the bathroom lacked a jacuzzi tub, which is not appealing to me in any way.  Instead, the marble shower is huge with a nifty stone shower bench. 

A fabulous blown glass chandelier in the lobby, a la Bellagio.  No doubt a Dave Chihouly sculpture. 

 

The great glass hotel entrance.

 

It's really not that hard to achieve splendor and opulence with so much marble, stone, glass, flowers...oh, and a billion dollar construction budget.

At night, we put on the ritz...and our suits, for a real estate gala over at Caesar's.  This was the real reason we were in AC -- a huge real estate convention was going on, and offered us unbelievable rates on the finest hotels.

 

The gala at club Buddakan at Caesar's Palace, a swank new estalishment at the new Pier Shops on the Boardwalk. 

 

When I heard "real estate gala", I pictured stuffy old convention center banquet room with bland round tables, a podium'd stage, and a cheesy dj.  No, this was Buddakan, and Buddha knows better.   

 

But we weren't there to hob-nob with people we didn't know, because frankly, we didn't know anyone.  No, we were there for open bar, passed hors d'oeuvres, and dinner.  No food pictures follow, but trust me when I say that we cleaned up nicely:  spicy lobster sushi, lamb tenderloin chops, chicken & ginger dumplings, pork & shrimp shumai, beef lettuce wraps, wasabi mashed potatoes, seared tuna, beef tenderloin.  And for drinks, I have here a Bonsai martini and a phenomenal Blueberry Stoli Mojito (muddled blueberries, mint, lime, sugar, Stoli Blueberry, and spalsh of club soda).

 

After the party, we hit the Pier Shops' roof deck for an outdoor view of the Boardwalk.  The Pier Shops is literally a pier -- jutting far out over the beach and into the ocean.  It replaces the old Ocean One shopping mall & arcade where my brother, cousins and I spent much of our childhood as children of obsessive gambling chinese parents.   I've probably been to AC 50 times in my life, and stayed at practically every major hotel on the Boardwalk.   Thank god for Street Fighter 2 and fried clams at the food court!

The Borgata Pool, where I spent some rejuvenative alone time in the hot tub and napping on the lounge chair while it snowed outside.

  

Rest & relax-asian, achieved.

 

When you tell people you're going to Atlantic City, they just go "oh fun".  But when you tell them you're staying at The Borgata, they go "OH MY!!"  It's officially the gold standard of AC, bitches, and boy does AC need it!

A few fridays ago, a bunch of us gays gathered at Gary & Aaron's home in Secaucus NJ for "Poker Nite".  Except gays don't play poker.  "Poker Nite".  We play board games.  Bennifer brought Twister.  So we all played Twister.  Gay Twistering on....

 

First up -- the white guys:  Bob, Gary, Patrick & bubbyMichael

 

After a few left-hand-greens and right-foot-reds, they started dropping like flies.  It was just Bob and P.diddy entangled in an unseemly position that neither seemed to mind all that much.  Eventually, ring around the rosey...they all fall down.  Some wine was involved.

 

The gaysians' turn:  me, Aaron & Bennifer.  I hike up my pants to make sure they don't come sliding off. 

 

Things got hairy pretty quickly, and there were asses and limbs everywhere.  Here, I grab Aaron's ass for dear life, as his leg was firmly planted in my crotch.  Meanwhile, Bennifer's knee was right up Aaron's crotch.  yeesh.

 

After I was eliminated, Bennifer's knees were still in Aaron's crotch.  Aaron won that round, and then took on the previous round's winner, Patrick.  Noel was the wildcard contender.

 

Aaron was crazy -- his limber limbs went from one corner of the board to the other diagonal corner with javelin force, knocking people off.  He won this round too.  What a Twister bully.  Everyone enjoyed just sitting around watching Aaron's ass in the air.

It's all fun & gaymes til someone gets sober.  Till we all meet again next Poker Nite.

This Thankgiving, my family bent all the traditional rules for the annual CHOWDOWN.  Instead of a Thursday meal, we did Friday.  Instead of a big roasted 100-lb turkey, we did a modest no-bone turkey breast.  Instead of 8 different kinds of pies that everyone's too stuffed to even eat, we did a bubbyMichael cheesecake.  And instead of inevitable family awkwardness between people, it happened with the pets.  Oh, and there were also....

 

CRABCAKES!  More on this in a bit.

 

Yud & cousin Jennifer, and my nephew Buddie, who is now a whopping 9-lbs.  Next Thanksgiving, he'll be big enough to roast.

 

Rosa and her parents, who have become like in-laws to me and Michael too.  You know the story....they love to eat...end of story.  Rosa & Yud's marriage has made us all one big happy family that unites often for decadent, drama-free occasions.  Before 2006, our family never used to do things like Thanksgiving gatherings.  I have spent many a-Thanksgivings as an adult orphan at other people's home while my folks were in Atlantic City...but more on that never.

 

Our kitchen counter turned into an Apple computer cafe as we waited for the oven to do its thing.  Rosa just got the ibook in white, and my silver one from earlier this year.  We heart our macs.  I also heart hubby who took care of the carving and the mess.

 

Meanwhile, I tackled Crabcakes for the first time.  Since we were Thanksgiving on Friday, it gave me an extra day to prepare and jazz up the menu. 

The feast was on, and right on time at 7pm.  The spread was substantial, to feed 9 hungry wolves.  And not a bowl of white rice, a sushi platter, or miso tofu soup in sight.

Our dining table was maxed out.  Actually, our "dining table" is a nifty fold-up table -- a great investment 4 years ago at BedBath for $150.  It's a side console most of the time, and for big dinners, 2 sizeable table leaves fold up, and 4 fold up chairs are stored in the console's center cavity.  Voila!  Seats 9 easily.

 

Roasted Butterball turkey breast.  No bones, no mess, no leftovers.  A spiral honey-glazed ham, always a huge hit.

 

Crabcakes and roasted red pepper sauce.  Click here for the amazingly simple & sensational recipe.  Candied yams, sweetened four-fold with brown sugar, marshmallows, honey, and my sugary magical touch.

 

An easy crunchy oven-roasted broccoli, and roasted mushrooms.  I took a year off from stuffing mushrooms. 

 

I'm not gonna lie...this is StoveTop stuffing, and it's pretty good.  FurFur with my folks.  Dad, who has no patience whatsoever to pause for one of my pictures. 

 

me & my favorite cousin Furfur, pre-eating.  me & hubby, pre-drinking.

 

Dessert was a special bubbyMichael CHEESECAKE.  This cheesecake was absolutely PERFECT!  Texture, firmness, creaminess...everything was right on point, and right into our mouths.  Making it the day before to allowed it to properly set.  He also made 3 topping choices:  strawberries & peaches in syrup; toasted almond glaze. 

No one had room for apple pie.  But it did not go to waste...the following day, I demolished it, a la mode.

 

After all was said and done, devoured and burped, then came the inevitable THANKSGIVING SHOWDOWN!

 

New cousins meet for the first time: Buddie the shih-tzu and Wuzzy the russian blue.  See Wuzzy go all "puffy tail" on the right.  His tail literally puffs up like a bushy squirrel tail when frightened.  kaka....I love it! 

 

He got scared of this strange new creature, and Buddie stared back unflinchingly, and frankly, disinterestedly.  Meanwhile, Wuzz kept peering around the corner, thru the railing.  He couldn't take his eyes off this giant toy mousey that daddy was holding out for him. 

 

This face-off/stand-off went on for 5 minutes.  Buddie made neither a sound nor a hint of interest.  He was probably tired....or hypnotized by the glowing cat eyes.

Buddie gets the last word in before he leaves:  Sniff ya later, cuz.